Where Dreams Are Made

Moving On

2007-04-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

Seems like I'll be taking up permanent residency here. Thanks for all the fond memories (and the fish). Dear Dreamshaft, you shall be missed.

Found myself a hubby but not a hobby

2007-04-07T01:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was very restless. I didn't know how to handle the drastic change in pace. I mean, all of a sudden I find myself not doing anything work-related. I was just lazing around the house reading and watching divx movies. Towards the end of the day, I felt like I've lost my footing. I went to bed haunted again by morbid thoughts.

But I seem to have regained balance now. Thankfully! Perhaps I just needed some time to adjust. So, I've been taking it easy the whole day, watching movies without feeling guilty. Finally got to watch Naruto again. Tomorrow I'll probably catch up on Prison Break and watch The Departed. Let's see how it fares against the original, Infernal Affairs. It is good to relax. Sooo frikkin' good. ;) And blogging is therapeutic indeed.

-oOo-
Last Sunday, I was scouring the shelves for a book to while away the time. I haven't finished Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell but didn't want to continue reading it as I feel it's too lengthy for the ADD-afflicted me. So I just went ahead and picked out Quincunx by Charles Palliser, a novel of Dickensian flavor. Now this book has almost the same number of pages as Jonathan Strange... but with a smaller type. Go figure. Sometimes I myself don't understand how my mind works.

I told my hubby about this weird book choice and you know what he said? That I should find myself a hobby. That I should meditate and find out what my passion is. I told him I know what my passion is...working! Then I threw this question at him: can't working be a hobby? You can probably guess that he gave me an exasperated look.

So, now I am plodding through the internet, where you can find virtually anything, for a hobby. Something to keep my hands busy and maybe improve my dexterity. My hands definitely need to be dexterous in things other than typing. However, nothing appealed to me--well, there were some that struck my fancy--but nothing that made me want to pursue it. Learned something new, though. I didn't know retrocomputing is hobby. I think it's more like a luddite's way of life.

Well, I guess that's it for tonight. My eyes are tired. Hopefully tomorrow Google will give me better search results for a hobby.

Cogito ergo sum

2007-04-01T19:14:00.000+08:00

And therein lies the dilemma. I might be thinking a bit too much. But at least my blog would be pleased to have my words rescue it from desolation. It probably thought it'll never see me again. I'm even surprised that it's still here, and seems to be waiting for me, despite my silence for more than a year. I guess now my blog feels pretty special that it got resurrected a week before Jesus Christ.

But there's a reason why I'm breaking this silence. I need this blog as much as it needs me. And probably now I need it more than it needs me. Once again, this blog is my soul salvation.

-oOo-

Seven years ago I despaired over molehills like it was the end of the world. I threw tantrums and launched into histrionics over things that a five-year-old would--and I was 23 at the time. Which just proves that when you're young you know nothing. Yes, shame on me. But I'm thankful that that person (or persona) has decided to keep herself scarce nowadays.

Today, there's really nothing to despair about. For almost five years now, life has been good. But why do I feel as if I'm fraying around the edges? Why do I feel like bursting into tears at any moment, without provocation? Why do I feel as if time is passing me by when I'm moving so fast my shadow can hardly keep up with me? Why do I find myself trying so hard to get something done that I end up not getting anything done at all? And why, when I need it the most, is sleep evading me? Further, what do I make of the morbid thoughts that sneak into my head? And what about this nagging emptiness inside of me? I hate it with all the energy I have left in my tired mind and body. But the more I try to rid of it, the more it seems to conquer me.

I am bleeding but there is no wound. I am hurting in that empty space between the heart and the soul. And it scares the life out of me--literally.

I swear, sometimes I think I’m going crazy.

Measuring My Torque

2005-11-16T19:23:00.000+08:00

For weeks now my mood has been swinging like a pendulum and my body can barely keep up. I feel tired almost all the time, I have morbid nightmares, experience anxiety attacks, and, to top it all off, my hair wouldn't stop falling. I can't wait for the weekend so I could just hole up at home and finish reading Sin City, which was lent to me by a co-worker. Actually, it would be closer to the truth were I to say, "which I boldly asked to borrow from a co-worker I hardly know". Shows what I'd do to get my hands and eyes on a great novel. Anyhoo, I think I'll go home now. I'm tired.

Alcoholiday

2005-11-12T19:54:00.000+08:00

There's a tingling sensation coursing through my arms and legs. Probably the toxic residues of last night's binge drinking. No thanks to my two co-workers who had their birthday blow-out yesterday. Thankfully, I still had my wits about me, as the laurel leaf said. Though I was having difficulty walking a straight line by that time. My feet didn't seem to want to follow the direction my mind instructed them to go. Nevertheless, I still managed to walk straight.

The end of the evening was a different story, however. When I try to recall the events that transpired last night, it feels like there's a gap in my memory. I must've been really drunk as I couldn't even remember how I managed to get some cash from the ATM. And then all I remember was going to Mini-stop to get some bottled water and having this conversation with my office mate that in 2001 (if my memory serves me right), a person in cyberspace was only 19 clicks away from an acquaintance. The logic of which became the foundation of online apps like Friendster. Now, of course, as our network of friends get bigger, the number of clicks decrease. I also remember a part of the conversation where I was in denial about my inebriated state. I was spewing out numbers...5 x 5 is 25...the square root of this is that...and so on. What geekiness, I now realize.

It was a fun night in all. I just had to pay the price--a steep one at that--with this debilitating hangover. Up 'til now, I still feel drunk. I woke up lunchtime with a splitting headache and numb arms and legs. I had lunch with my folks, trying to keep a decent demeanor, hiding the fact that my stomach was all topsy turvy and one tiny mistake could send me throwing up on the table. That could've been really, really ugly. After lunch, I slept again. I hibernated practically the whole day! When I woke up around 5:30pm I felt so weak--as if my limbs were weighing me down. Ugh! I really hate these kinds of hangovers. Downing an assortment of beers (and some wine) was a very ill-advised decision. I had some San Mig light, Red Horse, Strong ice, and half a glass of wine. It's up there in the list of stupidest things to do.

As of this writing, I am still feeling a bit woozy. And I have to repeat the oath I make during a hangover: I'll never drink again.

Random Twenty

2005-11-09T18:44:00.000+08:00

Got tagged by the laurel leaf, and since this is the second time I've been tagged by her, I'm dutifully acknowledging the tag. I'll try to answer the first tag next time. :)

Okay, off the top of my head, twenty things about me:

1. I love Neil Gaiman, but not as much as I love my hubby.
2. I am an obsessive-compulsive book-aligner. I stack books evenly in bookstore sale bins.
3. When walking, if my left foot semi-trips on an uneven pavement, I'd have to let my right foot semi-trip too, or else I'd be left feeling unbalanced.
4. I'm a sneaker pimp.
5. I have a burning passion for music.
6. When I was a kid I wanted to become an astronomer.
7. I know the scientific name of the common fruit fly: drosophila melanogaster.
8. I never wear purely white socks; if I do, it's because it's part of a costume.
9. I used to have a crush on Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver.
10. My first boyfriend passed away two years ago.
11. I'm a scaredy-cat.
12. I have alopecia areata. Go ahead and research it.
13. I have low caffeine tolerance but I love coffee.
14. I almost never walk barefoot. The instances that I do, it's on a sandy beach.
15. I used to be extremely moody and teetering-over-the-edge. I've now learned the zen way of life.
16. Most, if not all, of my friends are geeks.
17. I have messianic syndrome.
18. I never knew my biological dad.
19. I have thanatophobia. Go research it as well.
20. I am a manic depressive.

There you go. Or should I say, there I am.

I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing

2005-11-07T18:34:00.000+08:00

Right now I should be writing the minutes of a forgotten meeting. Right now I should be reading Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross's Marvels. Right now I should be on my way home. Right now I should be sleeping. Right now I should be talking with a friend, waxing philosophical on the nugatory elements of life. Right now I should be lazing about a beach. Right I should be letting a couple of Strong Ice beers calm my nerves. Right now I should be watching a film that would change my life. Right now I should be developing theories that would answer the truth to the number 42. Right now I should be discovering a buried civilization, or a fading constellation. Right now I should be playing the guitar and the jazz chords that I've just recently learned. Right now I should be having dinner at home, or at least preparing for dinner, given that right now is only five to seven. Right now I'm nearly at my wits' end trying to figure out why right now I'm doing something that I shouldn't be doing.

Right now I shouldn't be blogging because right now I should be writing the minutes of a forgotten meeting. Shit, "right now" is right now because it can't exist any other moment. And right now just had to suck majorly, the ugliness resonating across multiverses, and I'm caught in a recursive pattern of ill luck. Because before "right now" was "right now". And now it's still "right now". When will it end?

A Quickie

2005-10-04T18:20:00.000+08:00

Shit! Damn! I miss blogging! Shit. Damn.

Stark Raving Mad

2005-07-24T20:55:00.000+08:00

Here it is. Thank you for waiting patiently. As with all stories, the following is meant to entertain. However, I don't really care if it fulfills such purpose. I'm happy just to share it. And I thought since everybody else is doing it, what the heck, might as well jump on the bandwagon and write my own version of the events that transpired that magical and dreamy weekend-and-a-day.

--oOo--
It was the day that I got a glimpse of the demigod in Manila. On second thought, he's far bigger than a demigod; for what do you call one who created the American Gods? But, to bring him closer to the unititiated, I shall refer to the demigod as a man. After all, he seemed to be made of flesh and blood, topped with a healthy, bouncy blob of hair to boot. Just like when God, as Jesus, walked the earth in his human form (uh, except for the bouncy blob of hair; he more or less had wavy, shoulder-length hair, or so the pictures depict). Yeah I think that's more like it.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me backtrack a day to when I should've met that special man (next to my hubby, of course!) but didn't. That said, I'll move on with the story. about the day (and the days leading to) when I met that very special man (next to my hubby of course!).

Yes, I could've met him sooner had I not gone binge drinking, ergo spending the day after nursing the mother of all hangovers. My impulsiveness and semi-stupidity had allowed that to happen despite the fact that I knew well beforehand that the man was to arrive that particular Saturday.

I knew I didn't have the strength to wade through a throng of people just to catch a glimpse of him. I also knew that my faculties were in a state of utter confusion due to the alcohol that was overstaying in my body. Hence, I spent the day cursing the wretchedness of intoxication while making another futile promise of never touching a bottle of alcohol again.

But, as it's my chronic illness, I digress. The drunkennes is not the main point of this story. The point is, my meeting with the maker of dreams was postponed of my own stupid doing. Still, like I always believed--and hackneyed as it is--things happen for a reason. So, let me tell you this early that waiting is such a bittersweet occupation. And once you've finally reached the conclusion to your wait (with positive results, that is), nothing else compares to the sweetness of that enchanted moment.

And so my brain had the good sense to use the better part of that Saturday preparing for what the hubby and I had forecast to be a grueling Sunday. Food supplies, drinks, digicam batteries, and books were readied. The digital camera was tested (as we've just gotten it back from the repair shop) because we wanted to have proof that we've met and shook hands with the god-turned-man. But what else should happen but that the camera went dead on us?! Despite two changes of fresh-from-the-pack batteries, the camera kept registering a low batt warning. Such friggin' luck! An impulsive decision was then made to purchase a new, and more importantly, reliable, digital camera the next day, while awaiting the arrival of the genius.

From this point onwards, the story gets more interesting and, if I may boldly say, amusing. Unfortunately, I'd have to leave you hanging once again, as other more pressing matters require my immediate attention. Rest assured, though, that I would be writing the sequel to this narrative, writing as truthfully about the events that transpired two weeks ago as if they just happened yesterday. For this kind of experience does not easily get erased from anyone's memory; on the contrary, it remains etched in our souls, and we carry it around to give us inspiration during our darkest hours. Like I said, it is life-changing, magical, and definitely a dream come true.

Prologue/Teaser/Filler

2005-07-20T09:29:00.000+08:00

There are so many things that I have been wanting to write about, "wanting" being the operative word. Sigh. The past month has been a Maglev ride! Ugh, that sounded kinda tacky. I'm sorry, I have a predilection for histrionics and the terribly bromidic.

Well, let this entry be an update of sorts. Last week, something magical and life-changing happened, which is what I was supposed to blog about yesterday--or today, for that matter. But, like I told Candice, the process of blogging about it will take longer than usual, so I'll have to wait for some down time at the office before I painstakingly--and lovingly (it's mush week, didn't I tell you?!)--create the post.

This week, I've started my masochistic activities. I'm beginning to show the signs of a potential gymophile. Or whatever you call one who goes to the gym frequently enough to have a permanently aching body. It's fun, though! Especially the treadmill with the calorie counter, as the machine tells you how many calories you've burned while you desperately try to finish your 30 minutes of cardio exercise. If anything, it helps to know that you've burned that feast of a meal you had for lunch.

I still haven't finished Watchmen, I have tons of readings at work, and I have yet to watch at least 3 films that I've missed over the past months. But, first things first:

WORK.

Hopefully, before the week is over, you get to see the post I promised.

Everybody's doing it...

2005-07-18T16:34:00.000+08:00

so I will, too. But not today. Maybe tomorrow. ;)

Just wanted to leave things hanging with an air of mystery. At least this way, I'd be forced to write a follow up to this entry, and, in so doing, resuscitate this lifeless blog. Yes, I may be coming back to the world of writing and dreaming.

Where is my muse?

2005-06-05T19:02:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered what the world would look like if anime characters walked the earth with us normal people? I'm not saying in 2D form, but in flesh and blood 3D persona, mind you. Would they still look cute or would they scare the living daylight out of us? Just food for thought.

I watched Spirited Away two weeks ago and its magic still hasn't worn off. I have a very strong inkling that the Japanese have stumbled onto a secret when they launched into self-incarceration. For how else can they come up with astounding concepts and storylines for films and comics? If isolation is the key to becoming a genius, then maybe I should lock myslef up somewhere, in a tower perhaps (no, I'm not alluding to Rapunzel, I just couldn't think of any place else that would be more interesting), with only books, writing instruments, and paper as my companions. That should help emancipate my mind. And maybe after that I could be a Miyazaki or a Kurosawa. Then I'll be able to write about mythical dragons and mystical towns, samurais and humanism--and I will blow everybody away with my stories.

Yes, that would be very nice. That would be a feat of many lifetimes.

Unfortunately, I am only able to dream. Then again, who knows what dreams may become?

Aw, kcuf! Why am I being dramatic? Who am I kidding?! I can't even dream the stuff up, much less make them a reality! LOL! :p Give it up, haiku. Your name's the closest to Jap culture you'll ever get. Okay, I guess I better stop now. Talking to oneself is never a good sign.

To hell and back

2005-05-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

Though I'm not too sure about the latter.

Last night was the hottest I've experienced.

Okay, all pervs raise their right hand! Sorry, but I wasn't pertaining to sex-- though my world would've been a much nicer place had it been otherwise. Anyway, those of you wishing to read an erotic entry, move over to the next blog, for I won't be talking about last night's sexcapade. I'll be talking about historic atmospheric changes called the weather. So, for the boring ones who are willing to stay, by all means, read on. The poster of this message feels so pathetic right now she could use some company. Even imaginary ones.

So, what's so interesting about the weather? Well, for starters, it nearly drove me crazy last night. Our zone had a scheduled blackout due to some maintenance/repairs. And of all friggin' nights to schedule that! Who schedules a blackout in the middle of the effin' hottest summer in the universe? Some of you might say, "But it rained last night!" Well, a lot of good the rain did--it just brought out the steam! I felt like a rebel siomai, cursing my destiny for letting me be placed in a steamer. It was so hot you could actually feel yourself melting! And some of my brain cells did melt last night. For how else could I come up with such a lame analogy as a rebel siomai cursing its destiny?! WTF?!

Anyway, long story short (or endless griping cut short): I wasn't able to get much sleep. Woke up late. Overdosed on Vitamin C. Had a bum stomach because of action previously stated. Almost didn't make it to work without any life-humiliating experience.

That was this morning. Now...

my brain feels like it's been run over by a speeding (and dilapidated PNR) train, the pieces recovered by the police and put inside a ziplock bag, only to be accidentally dropped and ran over again by the next speeding train. Long story short: My brain ran over by two trains--which means twice the mental damage. I am as braindead as a human can get.

Meandering Thoughts

2005-05-08T17:53:00.000+08:00

Because someone that goes by the name of Mike, requested that I update this blog, I am now doing so. Okay, friendship, read on and don't puke. This is the lamest entry yet. I just wish I can talk about something interesting. But lately the muse has been in hiding and I'm left with a poor excuse for a brain. So, bear with me just this once.

**********

Our helper's one-year old kid doesn't know how to say her name. But you know what she was able to utter last week?

"Buh-bye, Bailey. Buh-bye."

Who's Bailey? She's our German Shepherd. See, each morning before I step out the of the house I'd say, "Bye, Bailey!" It's been my routine, along with saying "Hi, Bailey!" as soon as I get home. Apparently, the toddler has been hearing me say this everyday, so, naturally, she was able to pick up the expression. The process of learning is an amazing thing. I just wish she'd learn to say her name, too. Her parents ought to talk to her more and try to teach her how to speak.

**********

Watched Kingdom of Heaven last week. It's not boring for an epic movie. I guess Ridley Scott learned a lot from Gladiator. However, between the two, my endearment rests with the latter. Russell Crowe vs. Orlando Bloom? Hell, that's a no-brainer!

And because Kingdom of Heaven was beautifully produced, I liked it. BUT (now that's a big BUT), Orlando Bloom as the lead wasn't really a good idea. There was something missing in his portrayal of the character Balian. Either that, or he just isn't the right actor for the role. Maybe Eric Banna would've done a better job. Then again, he was already in Troy. Whatever, I just wish it hadn't been Orlando Bloom. Sorry Legolas fans.

**********

I promised Naruto gashapon pics in my previous post. However, because our low-tech digicam doesn't have macro settings, I couldn't come up with a good picture. The image turns out blurred, and so the details are lost. As these are gashapons (which are small figures, in case you're not familiar with them), you need to showcase the tiny details. So the pictures will have to wait until we get a better digicam. And with all the spending we've been doing lately, purchasing a new camera won't be happening any time soon. :p

**********

It's very hot outside. And it's too darn cold here in the hubby's office. I've got a runny nose and I'm very sleepy. Still, I promised that I would update my blog. Pardon the bland, anything goes entry. My life, for two weeks now, has been temporarily put on hold. Work has yet to become second nature so I am still trying my best to learn the ropes. Maybe just one more month and I'll be winging it like a pro. Hehe, I wish.

Okay, that's it. I can't type anymore. Not only am I cold and sleepy, now I'm also hungry and starting to have a headache from staring at this frickin' blurry monitor. They should have this replaced! I wonder how they would feel about a request from a complete stranger? The company the hubby works for doesn't even know that I'm using their resources on Sundays. Haha. Okay, this time I'm really stopping. My eyes can't take it anymore. But before I go, let me just say that I hope it's a great week waiting for all of us. God knows we deserve it once in a while.

Stop and smell...

2005-04-26T12:28:00.000+08:00

the facial wash.

Is it just me, or does the Nivea Visage facial foam smell like a wet dog? Eww. Maybe I should just use it on our dog. It might do some good for the scratches on her snout that she got from messing with the cats.

A Summary of Events

2005-04-23T18:34:00.000+08:00

Allow me to rant first: What's up with the comments page of my previous post? I can't seem to access it. Sucks.

Last April 14 marked the second year of our marriage. For those who do not know, we got married civilly 7 months before our church wedding. I'm sure this comes as a surprise to most people. There you go, another unintentional secret revealed. Well, a not-so-secret secret.

**********

Early this afternoon, the hubby and I went to Glorietta. We passed by the Park Square parking lot and were fortunate and very thrilled to have witnessed a sidewalk bank composed of three blind men and a blind woman. It was such a delight to watch the drummer/bassist. Yup, you read that right: he's a drummer cum bassist. As in he plays the drums with his right hand. and the bass with his left. Man, talk about multi-tasking! Such talent! To think that he was actually doing melodic lines and busy rolls! Hah! He'll give the drummer of Def Leppard a run for his money. Mikah, this is something you definitely have to learn. I'm also wondering if The Slob can pull this one off. I deeply regret that we weren't able to take a picture of the act as the digital camera's batteries were dead. Maybe next time. I wonder if they're there all the time?

*********

I tagged along with the hubby to his place of work. It's so cold here! But at least I get to surf via DSL. I am sleepy, though. The hubby and I slept over at Noojie's house after jamming some new songs and having an inebriated discussion about the fate of the world's magnetic field, the evolution of man, interplanetary migration, and existentialism. We said our goodnights as the sun came up. But it was all good. Thanks for having us, Noojie! And happy birthday again to Eggy! :)

**********

Naruto fanatics and impulsive buyers that we are, we purchased two sets of Naruto gashapons this afternoon. Will post pics soon. We now have 3 of a series of 5. We bought Series 2 last week. This obsession isn't doing any good to our coffers.

*********

I've been very busy at work. The nice thing about it is that I'm beginning to see and feel that I'm part of the organization. I see myself as a cog in motion, doing my bit to keep the organization functioning properly.

Happier each day...

2005-04-14T17:24:00.000+08:00

with you.

Food Talk

2005-04-13T09:52:00.000+08:00

Every morning when I get to the office and turn my computer on, I open the ADB Today website and check out the food menu at the cafeteria. I do this without fail, and without particular purpose--except to satisfy my curiosity, I guess. I want to see what my food choices for lunch and merienda are. But, the funny thing is, I almost always end up having a sandwich. Four days out of five, I have sandwich for lunch, even during morning and afternoon breaks. And now I remember why: because I vowed to lose weight. :p Ay, there's the rub. For I love to eat, and I love good food. Darnit.

Accident Prone

2005-04-10T18:42:00.000+08:00

No, I'm not talking about that Boldstar song with the catchy melody and the sentimental lyrics. I am actually describing myself.

Early last week, I skinned my nose while trying to get rid of some slippery snot (darn these sharp, uncut nails!). It was so friggin' painful I could hardly hold back my tears--especially when I had to scrub my face and clean my nose. And everytime I'd hit the darn wound, I'd cringe and a tear would surface. Then, as if that wasn't enough punishment for only-God-knows-what (seriously, I swear I've been good the previous weekend), I met an accident on my way to work. An accident that came in the form of a cat. I believe I am special: things not likely to happen always happen to me.

As I was approaching the MRT QUezon Avenue Station, a cat who had gone berserk, and who looked like it was running for dear life (probably it was its last, judging from the panic level), jumped from the roof and landed, of all places (and of all people), on my left foot. As I was wearing open-toe shoes that day, the cat's claw tore through the skin of my toe, ending with a deep puncture wound near the cuticle. Blood oozed. And, as rotten luck would have it, I realized I didn't have any tissue or hanky with me. I was trying not to cry despite the severe pain. Such pain it was, I tell you! I wanted to scream, but didn't want to draw attention to myself. My chest hurt from stifling the sobs. I limped in search of some bandaid and tissue. Good thing there was a sarisari store nearby that was selling tissue; no bandaids, though. And so I proceeded to wipe the blood from my injured toe. Only when I got to the office was I able to clean the wound properly.

The drama queen that I am, I was worried I'd die of tetanus poisoning or rabies or, less worse but still bad, my toe would have to be amputated. Now, my toe's still a bit sore, but it's better. The inflammation has subsided and it has stopped hurting. I just have to be careful and watch where I'm walking so I wouldn't accidentally stub my toe and do further damage to it. I wouldn't be surprised if I wake up one morning and found out that my feet have gone on strike. They've been very abused lately! My poor, distressed, persecuted feet. I really have to seriously look after you.

That was the highlight of my week. I can't really remember what else happened during the week. It went by so fast! Sometimes I think we're living in fast forward mode. I only remember bits and pieces of the events that transpired the past week: like when I played badminton with my officemates and my face got so red from exertion; and when I worked and worked and worked. That's pretty much it. All I have are hazy images as if those things happened in a dream. That's why I should be writing here more often; I'm doubtful of my memory's capability to recount events. Sigh.

**********

Now, let's see if I've been true to my words. Looks like I barely accomplished Promise #2 and almost completely ignored Promise #1. But I did make good on #3. As for the rest of the promises, it's too early to give a verdict. Either that, or I'm just making lousy excuses again. Get a grip, woman! :p Oh well, 'til next.

Promises are made to be...

2005-03-30T22:33:00.000+08:00

what you make of them. Break them, keep them, shelve them, regret them; it's totally up to you. And because I have the upper hand and the keyboard is my subordinate, I will make promises. Yes, simply because I can.

Promise #1. I promise to pay more attention to my blog and set aside some time for it or get some cure for my laziness in posting.

Promise #2. I promise to update at least once a week even if work and extracurricular activities may take up 90% of my non-sleeping time.

Promise #3. I promise to play badminton next week.

Promise #4. I promise to focus on what I'm writing as I have just dicovered I've typed the html tag for bold this way: <b>stupidly</i>. Of course I made the necessary corrections already so they're displaying properly now. Thanks heaps to opts for teaching me how to <b>display</b> html tags.

Promis #5. I promise to finish The Watchmen in April and set aside more time for reading.

Promis #6. I promise to save up.

Promise #7. I promise to spell promise correctly from this point onward. (Work, brain! Dammit, work!)

Promise #8. I promise not to buy another trade paperback or book unless I've finished reading two books/TPBs from our mini-library.

Promise #9. I promise to watch any of the DVDs gathering dust in our room one weekend in April.

Promise #10. I promise to forget less. If that is feasible at all.

I see I've promised quite a lot of things. Next step, delete this blog entry. Haha, just kidding. I'll just move on to another topic since the preceding promises have been somewhat tedious to make.

**********

FOR REEL

I hear Alan Moore's V for Vendetta will be adapted to film. No news yet who will be doing it. Promise my good friend that you'll read V for Vendetta first before watching it. You have a helluva long time to source one and do that. Request originated from Ramon, coursed through Quark. :)

Astonishing X-Men writer Joss Whedon's film/tv projects are Wonder Woman and Serenity (an original sci-fi series).

Transformers, the movie, will be helmed by Spielberg. The script is yet to be written or finished.

That's all I remember right now. Oops, did I just revoke Promise #10? kcuF. This is more difficult than I expected.

Caveat: Lengthy Post

2005-03-21T20:42:00.000+08:00

I got through my first week of work at DSI. Yey! :) I still have to acclimatize myself with waking up at 6:30 every morning. So far, so good. However, I noticed that by Thursday my body was starting to act stubbornly. Waking up beacame a bit more difficult. Thank god for the short walk from the MRT station to the office. At least that gets the blood circulating. I also noticed that by the end of the week, my mind was giving my body permission to crash. By Friday's end, my body was so tired it was ready to collapse. But I couldn't let it. We had a gig scheduled last Friday at Big Sky Mind. And masochist that I am, I just had to stay chatting with friends until 5:30am. Yes, I'm trying to kill myself. As if that wasn't enough, I had to wake up at 9:30am yesterday for an editing. With only two and a half hours of sleep, I mustered all the strength that I could to get out of bed, take a shower, and trudge to the production house. My hands were numb, my head was reeling, my comprehension was slow. It took so much effort to do the simplest things. Lack of sleep coupled with a nasty, ass-kicking, head-splitting, hangover. It just had to be that way. Gah.

But I got through the day. And now, I feel that I've gotten enough rest to sustain me for the coming week. Assuming that I'll be sleeping early tonight and the succeeding days. Hehe.

You know, I missed so many people--friends I haven't seen in ages! And the sad thing was, I only realized I missed them when I saw them. Night 'til daybreak wasn't enough to catch up on everything. But we did manage to talk about the heart of matters. And matters of the heart. We've realized that growing up isn't an easy task: planning for the future becomes more urgent and problems become more complicated. Suddenly, not everything is black-and-white or cut-and-dried. You have to be more flexible with your decisions. I'm sorry for being cryptic; some things just can't be shared. But this I'm willing to share: no matter what happens, I will always be here for my friends. I may not see them often, but the minute they come running to me crying, I'll bash the offender's head in to tomorrow. Or something.

On a lighter note, this is what arrived last week. I'm still drooling over it so my keyboard is a bit messy right now.

Don't you just love the brilliant man?

Oh, and I just learned that Mike Carey (Lucifer) and Glenn Fabry (Endless Nights, Hellblazer, and The Preacher) worked on the comic adaptation of Neverwhere due out, maybe, in June--another thing to look forward to and save up for, along with Gaiman's latest novel, The Anansi Boys (coming out last quarter of the year). Also, don't forget Neil Gaiman and Dave Mckean's brainchild, Mirrormask! I am almost trembling with excitement over all these fantastic things to come! :D

Movies and corresponding toys to look forward to:

Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge of the Sith - toys due out in April (at least in the States)
Mirrormask - I still don't have news if some compnay will be getting the rights for toy production, but I do know that the OST will be coming out in September
Sin City - toys coming out soon (movie-accurate figures of Marv, Yellow Bastard, Manute, and Hartigan by NECA)
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - toys coming out mid-year
Robots - toys out now, I believe (I think I've already seen some in the malls)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - release date of toys yet to be revealed but there will be an articulated 12-inch Willy Wonka and an in-scale Oompa Lumpa fig!
Fantastic Four - first and second waves will be out soon, if they haven't been released already
Batman Begins - 5-inch figures to be released by Mattel in May; statues to be released by DC Direct
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - we don't collect Harry Potter toys, just books and movies
The Wallace and Gromit Movie: Curse of the Were-Rabbit - no news about toys yet, but the movie sounds interesting; stars Helena Bonham Carter, Peter Sallis, and Ralph Fiennes
The Chronicles of Narnia - collectibles range from action figures to statues to movie replicas

Let's go a year further and list some must-sees in 2006:

Indiana Jones 4
Iron Man
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
Superman Returns
X-Men 3

And to further spice up your day like it did mine, read this quirky article. As if things weren't weird enough, the hubby, having just woken up, told me about his dream that David Lee Roth was getting us as sessionists for his world tour. Yeah, the old geezer must have his consciousness working so hard dreaming of a comeback that he actually was able to invade people's subconscious. David Lee Roth. LOL! What could be more absurd than that?

Shucks, I just realized I forgot to invite Kai to the gig last Friday. I promise I won't forget next time. :)

Whew, what a lengthy post. Looks like I really missed blogging.

A Day in the Life of Feet

2005-03-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

The hubby and I went to check out Gateway Mall last Saturday. Is the Philippines the country with the most malls per square kilometer? The ones along EDSA alone must be around 13 already (give or take)! I don't know why it's so. Is it the solution to our country's crumbling economy?

**********

Apart from the incredulity over malls sprouting like mushrooms, I was also amazed by the "coincidence" of bumping into 7 friends that day (len and her homeboy, dandelionfluff, Owel, Paul, Julie, and Hannah). All in Gateway Mall. And these people don't even frequent the place (I think).

There's nothing much to rave about the place. But I like their atrium. It's landscaped with plants and trees, a small bridge, and a koi pond with carp. After strolling about checking out the stores, we decided to try out Taco Bell. Sucked. 'Nuff said. :p

**********

Today was my first day at work. I was overwhelmed by the scope of the project we're handling; to be honest, it was kind of daunting. Not only that, I was also intimidated by the place. I haven't worked in such a large institution as ADB. I was thinking during the start of my orientation that I was way in over my head. But those feelings of inadequacy soon dissipated when I began to understand the various components of the project and what it is I'm supposed to do. I have begun familiarizing myself with the project, getting to know my new officemates, and learning my way around the building. Would you believe I got lost in the complex this afternoon on my way home?! I must've walked for more than ten minutes trying to find the exit. What an eejit. :p It seemed that I had taken the wrong elevator. I hope that doesn't happen again tomorrow. I am so bad with directions! And now, because of all that walking around (plus the trip by foot to Rufo's and the head office in Medical Plaza earlier in the afternoon), the balls of my feet are suffering from burst blisters. They aren't really used to wearing high heeled shoes, at least not the whole day and not subject to much walking. Now, I don't know what shoes I'll be wearing tomorrow. I can barely walk. I'm so sorry, feet. I love you to pieces but I wouldn't actually want you falling into pieces. And I guess there'll be no badminton for me for a while. Sigh.

That pretty much sums up my first day of work. This weekend I'll be posting pics of the new toys that just arrived yesterday. Happiness. :)

What's Been Happening

2005-03-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

Lots of last minute preparations before I report for work next week. After almost two years of being married, I just only got to change my name early this week. I am such a procrastinator. I was actually avoiding the proverbial waiting-in-long-lines in government offices. But guess what? If you have the patience and the will, you can actually accomplish everything in just two days! Yes, that includes the driver's license. That took the longest, actually. Almost half a day. But I'm happy with it: of all the driver's license pictures I've had, this one is the most, if not the only, presentable one. Wehehe.

Anyway, I promised michelangelus that I'd go over the fanfic. However, I've just finished printing it. I got sick two days ago. Had the bi-monthly case of rhinitis. Sometimes it's stress-related, other times it's caused by dust particles. See, the dust fancy the computer area--well, the whole room actually. I have to make do with intensive cleaning during weekends to get that chi flowing nicely so I can restore some normalcy in my life. God knows I need to master the sleeping habits of a non-nocturnal person.

Well, that's it for now. Time to sprinkle that sleepdust I bought in the black market today. No, it's not anything illegal. Morpheus himself made it; so it says on the vial. And tomorrow when I wake up--that should be early in the morning--I will have a print-out of michelangelus' Inuyasha fanfic waiting for me at breakfast. ;)

Oh, and this has been taking up my time, too. It's my cousin's fault. He got me hooked.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

2005-03-03T21:51:00.000+08:00

I have a job! Woot!

Finally, I've got something better/more productive to do with my time. I'm a lazyass no more! It's been a while since I've held a corporate job. I guess it will take me some time to get used to 9-5 work. Nevertheless, I'm excited. And Rej will be my officemate! I start on the 14th. Things are finally falling into place. Dandelionfluff and Candice share the same sentiment. And, to borrow from opts's philosophy, I believe the universe is indeed taking care of us.

**********

This afternoon I met up with an old friend. He'll be going back to the States this weekend and was kind enough to squeeze in a meeting with me before he left. I finally met his wife, too. Felt good to see a friend who only shows up once in a while--because it's physically impossible to do otherwise as he works in the States. The reason for the rendezvous was to exchange CDs. He's a major Elvis Costello fan, too. And, being the good friend that he is, he gave me these:

The Delivery Man and Imperial Bedroom (Rhino Release)
I couldn't have asked for anything more. The Delivery Man is EC's latest album and Imperial Bedroom is a Rhino Release--meaning it has a bonus disc and liner notes written by no other than Costello himself. This, along with opts's "continuing" presents (Elvis Costello and The Attractions' early stuff) should be enough ear candy to last me for an indefinite period of time. Thank you, good friends. :)

In exchange for the EC CDs, I gave my friend Manny a copy of Sugrafree's Dramachine and Urban Dub's Influence. I hope he likes them. Well, I'm pretty sure he'll like them. :)

Fried Chips

2005-03-02T18:16:00.000+08:00

When sorrows come, they come not in single spies, but in battalions. -- Shakespeare.

When expenses come, they come not in single pesos, but in thousands. -- Me.

My motherboard and processor got fried two days ago. Turned out, the fan perched on top of the processor tray got dislodged. How it happened, I leave to mystery. Good thing the HD wasn't damaged. Had it been so, I'd not only be set back financially, but also spiritually. Part of my sould resides in the hard drive. That's where most of my thoughts and visions lie.

Mental note: Back up Drive D.

My CPU was only three years old before it met its untimely death. It was as reliable as they come, though a bit (just a bit) on the slow side. Not that it really mattered at the time. I notice it now because with this new set, booting takes seconds, installations are quicker, and programs load faster. However, XP still takes forever to shut down. Well, a minute short of forever this time since the processor's faster.

Last night I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning spring cleaning the hard drive. I threw most of the old files away. I have this habit of saving stuff I come across on the net but don't have time to read, and eventually forgetting about them. I also have tons of duplicate pictures because when I resize them for posting, I don't throw the original away. I guess I really have to be more assertive in that aspect from now on. Junk piles as easily in your drive as it does in your room. It's insidious.

Below are the books that have been keeping me busy. I've finished Murder Mysteries already. I think I like the short story version better. Maybe because I read it first. But I think it's really different when you read something and the visualualization is left to your imagination. The comic book adaptation is still nice to have in one's collection, though.

I am currently reading The Watchmen. This is the first Alan Moore book that I'll be tackling. I like how it uses both script and narrative to further involve the reader in the Watchmen's world. I swear, there really must be something in the water in Britain. How do they come up with such literary geniuses? ~~Maybe it's in the teeth~~. Okay, mean joke. Scratch that.

After The Watchmen, next in line is Lucifer Vol. 2. This is something that I've lagged behind on. The trade paperback edition is now in the seventh volume. I just don't have the money to buy everything. Especially now (refer to above computer mishap). Hopefully, by the time I finish the second, I'll have the dough to buy the third. A book at a time. If only TPBs weren't so expensive! Sigh.

I was also planning on enrolling in a gym. But now, with the money gone to the new chips, the only workout I'll be having is typing. I have to milk this thing for what it's worth. Need to get more writing gigs. With that, I end this entry. Time to fix my portfolio.

A Book Keeper's Story

2005-02-28T01:32:00.000+08:00

Found this link on Neil Gaiman's journal. I cried a tear for the lone librarian. Imagine being the sole inhabitant of a municipality! Okay, so she doesn't really feel lonely. Still, I want to hug her. Maybe I just can't picture myself living a life like hers. On second thought, maybe I could--if I had a library all my own, there'd be hardly any time for loneliness as I'd be reading all the books in it! And I would never have to go hungry.

Words are yummy.

A paragraph for breakfast,
A sentence for lunch,
And a phrase for dinner.
Oh, and entire books for dessert.

That would make for a good diet.

Toys 'f Ours

2005-02-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

Below is a picture of our new baby. He is called Galactus, the devourer of worlds in the Marvel Universe. He stands 16 inches and weighs quite a bit for a piece of plastic (I didn't really bother weighing him). The regal bearing is inborn, I'd say. And so is the penchant for PIK-NIK Ketchup Fries.

PIK-NIK tastes so much better than planets

Galactus came with the complete set of Marvel Legends Series 9; as in bits and pieces of him were packed in each ML figure in the series. Pretty brilliant marketing ploy, wouldn't you agree? Series 9 action figures include (from L-R) the mystical Dr. Strange (his cape came from an Indian flea market), War Machine with mask (he says he has a zit the size of Canada), cyborg Deathlok, a spiffy-looking Professor X (for a paraplegic--okay, that was bad, I'm sorry), X-Man Nightcrawler (no, that doesn't mean he's gay, it simply indicates he's a member of the X-Men), First Appearance Hulk (he's feeling a bit sad that's why he's gray), and walking-target Bullseye (right smack in middle of the forehead).

We are a totally whacked family

And this baby is next in line for adoption. He'll be arriving the same way Galactus did, in bits and pieces in the upcoming Marvel Legends Series; due, maybe, mid this year.

A Post Valentine's Post

2005-02-19T02:04:00.000+08:00

Did not celebrate V-day. I was never really fond of the day. I have never even celebrated an anniversary with a boyfriend. Of course, now that I'm married, it's different; I do acknowledge wedding anniversaries.

The stereotype of women is that they're big on commemorating events, legitimate holidays or not, as long as the day represents something "monumental". I guess I'm just not a fan of so-called days of ritual. I didn't even greet the hubby a Happy Valentine's. I didn't feel the urge to do so. It's like stating the obvious, you know: of course it was a happy day for him, he's with me! And vice versa. Duh.

Actually, most red-letter days don't hold much meaning for me. Count Christmas in. And Christmas isn't just a day, it's a season. Well, the whole friggin' season just leaves me cold and depressed. Even New Year's has become a dreaded holiday. I'm on my toes for any sign of a house on fire. So, if I'm paranoid the beginning of the new year, does that mean paranoia for the rest of the year? That would really suck.

Back to Heart's Day. Honestly, I wouldn't mind calling each day Valentine's if I receive comments like this. Mr. Anonymous is such a sweetheart. He felt sad for the post that didn't get any comments so he left one. (Apparently, all my friends were on this other journal site where my mirror blog is and they all posted there. ;p) Forgive the mushiness--I rarely do this--but his comment just had me fall in love with him a million times over. I married the right man. :) *swoons*

Okay, those were my three minutes of sappiness. I promise the next post will not be cloyingly saccharine.

Memories Schmemories

2005-02-10T02:34:00.000+08:00

I see this meme has sprouted a number of tentacles already, so I won't mention anymore where I got it from. Just check out the six degrees of separation. Honestly, I'm kinda nervous about what some people would say. Especially those who know me inside-out. Wehehe.

If you read this journal,
even if i don't speak to you often,
post a memory of me.
It can be anything you want.
It can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.

Then post this on your journal.
See what people remember about you.

A Sloth in the Making

2005-02-08T18:25:00.000+08:00

From 12am-2pm, I did nothing but sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up. So, that's three sets of sleeping and waking up.

I hit the sack at 12mn last night; early for my kind. I didn't really get much sleep the night before; I labored over this site revamp. However, by 3:30am, I was woken up by the hushed ambient sounds of my dear hubby who was preparing to go to work. Since I couldn't get back to sleep, I decided to read the 90th issue of Toyfare. I went back to bed around 4:30am.

The hubby was back by 7:30am with some taho I had specifically asked for. It's been a long time since I had taho! Yummy! Naturally, I had to eat/drink (incidentally, which verb do you use for taho?) it right away to savor the flavor while it was still hot. After the taho, I picked up where I left off on my reading, and, after only a short while, drowsiness kicked in. So I went back to bed--again--a bit past 8am.

I woke up six hours later. WTF just happened?! I haven't had that deep a sleep in ages! I thought I've only been asleep for a mere two hours. Geez. Another good day wasted. I so wanted to accomplish a lot of things today like...er...hmmm...I'm sure I did have a couple of things planned. Someone must've tinkered with my meomory while I was sleeping. Oh, kcuf. My lazy ass needs a spanking.

Baby?

*grins impishly*

La-la-la-la-la (insert musical note here)

2005-02-07T19:11:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged by len!

Random 10:

1. The Postman (Titles) - Il Postino OST
2. Sunrise - Norah Jones
3. Wise Up - Aimee Mann (Magnolia OST)
4. Never Tear Us Apart - INXS
5. Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
6. Feeling This - Blink 182
7. Idioteque - Radiohead
8. Alison - Elvis Costello
9. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
10. By The Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers

>>>>>>>>>>

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
1.85 GB

2. The last CD you bought is:
Let's Face It! by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

3. What is the last song you listened to before this message:
U2's Beautiful Day

4. Write down five songs you listen to a lot or mean a lot to you:
a. New York Baby (Leona Naess) - 'cause I wanna go to New York!
b. Only In Dreams (Weezer) - The instrumental towards the end is a song on its own
c. Still FIghting It (Ben Folds) - I love the sentimentality of it
d. 1965 (Afghan Whigs) - The perfect make-out/sex song
e. Always With You, Always With Me (Joe Satriani) - Our torch parade song at the wedding reception

5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to? (3 persons and why)
Joon - because he's my bandmate and he is a struggling piano player ;)
Luna - she has a blog devoted to music :)
Mike (bullish) - he's someone who has a CD collection worth a Mazda 3 ;)

Out With the Old, In With the New

2005-02-07T03:19:00.000+08:00

My old template was sooo last year. It couldn't be any kitschier than tight fit jeans tucked into hi-cut sneakers. This new look, however, is not yet final as I am still in the process of tweaking the colors and fonts and inserting some silly stuff here and there. Bear with me while I struggle with my ultra-limited knowledge of HTML. I don't understand 99% of what's on my blog template. Really. I'm not exaggerating. Oh, what I'd do to learn how to code! And elegant streams of code, at that! Yes, when I dream, I dream the impossible.

Regardless, I still love my new template.

*contented sigh*

Okay, enough chitchat. Back to working on the site.

Here's to Silly Saturdays!

2005-02-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

It's so much fun hanging out with friends!

After the three-hour badminton session yesterday, dandelionfluff, filmslob, bluellite, and hubby and I hung out at the house. We devoured two boxes of pizza with chicken wings on the side. Oh, and the Slob helped himself happily to broccoli with pork, not minding the overcooked state of the vegetable.

With stomachs so full that we could hardly budge from our seats, we had coffee and spicy sampaloc (not really a good combination) while the slob entertained us with piano tunes ranging from the obsolete to the contemporary and the never-heard to the ubiquitous. Sadly, he never got to finish any particular song. Five bars into a song, he would then stop and try a different tune. Nevertheless, we appreciated the accompaniment to an otherwise dry evening. In fact, his piano-playing even gave us something to talk about over coffee and indigestion.

When the Slob tired of his unfinished symphonies, he came to join us. From that point onwards, I have no memory of the topics the group pursued.

Shortly after, we watched Shaun of the Dead. It's my second time to watch the movie, but the punchlines still haven't lost their kick. It is incredibly funny! Even the commentary was hilarious! Highly recommended, five stars, two thumbs up, and cartwheels all around.

All in all, it was a fun, wholesome Saturday. Even if others would contest that fun and wholesome can never be used in the same sentence.

I luv my fwends.

No more lonely nights...

2005-02-04T03:10:00.000+08:00

just sleepless ones. Argh, I hate these nights. I've written about these nights like a million times already. Maybe this particular time it's because I ate too much pasta and pizza; my digestive system is working over time and it's not letting the rest of my body off the hook that easy. So much for wanting to sleep early--yet again. :p

>>>>>>>>>>

This afternoon, after a short meeting with dandelionfluff's friend, the hubby and I got a haircut. I have wanted to change the way I look since 2003. I've been wearing my hair long for a long time now and I wanted a change of scenery when I look in the mirror. So, from my mid-back-length hair, I had the stylist cut four inches off. I haven't had hair this short in ages! Now I have shoulder-length hair. I think along with the few inches of hair, a few years from my age were lost, too. Indulge me. Hehe.

>>>>>>>>>>

Yahoo! This weekend will see another athletic get-together! I cannot wait to get some exercise. Haven't done anything this week that resembles a work-out. I've been sleeping late again so I've been getting up late as well. The weather isn't helping. It's just perfect for sleeping in and breeding indolence. :p

>>>>>>>>>>

Well, I've got nothing more to say. I guess this post is just for the sake of, or something to do that's more productive than counting sheep. I sense the sleep fairy coming now. I hope this time it's for real.

It's All About What?

2005-01-31T01:05:00.000+08:00

It's All About Love. That's what the title said. But, really, what the hell was it all about? I didn't understand an effin' thing about the film. All throughout I tried to stay alert, afraid of missing the one clue that will lead me to enlightenment. So, I was gripped by anxiety, awaiting the climax or the startling revelation that, horror of horrors, failed to come. The film ended without me grasping the plot, much less the underlying theme. All I remember is the surrealistic flying Ugandans scene towards the end. Oh, and also when husband and wife John and Elena, played by Joaquin Phoenix and Claire Danes, died in the snow due to exposure. (Well, hello! Their wardrobe was in no way suited for that kind of harsh climate. I'm surprised they even got to trek that far in the snow.) In the end, I guess love conquered all--well, uh, except death.

From beginning to end the movie was peppered with disjointed vignettes that I'm too irritated to write about for they just didn't make any sense. I'm not going to bother writing the events that led the characters to that barren land of ice nor am I even going to waste precious internet time by giving you the film synopsis. What an utter waste of time and money, I'm sorry to say. I can't believe I sat through two hours of that. Ugh.

I think there was one thing the movie got right, though: the world doesn't make sense. They definitely did a damn good job of portraying that.

Pogo Sticks and Neuroscience

2005-01-24T13:14:00.000+08:00

Get a Pogo Stick for Your Brain!

Make your mind into a weapon of mass discovery.
Supersize your mental fries.
Experience the brain-building power of daily KnowledgeNews emails now!

I don't really know what to make of the above ad copy of KnowledgeNews.net; especially when juxtaposed against the one below.

In these forlorn regions of unknowable dreary space, this
reservoir of frost and snow, where firm fields of ice, the
accumulation of centuries of winters, glazed in Alpine
heights above heights, surround the pole, and concentre the
multiplied rigours of extreme cold.
--Francis Spufford, I May Be Some Time: Ice and the
English Imagination

Found both pieces in my daily dose of vocabulary from dictionary.com. I don't usually pay attention to ads included in emails, but for some eerie reason, like some iniquitous unknown force was at work, my eyes wandered to that particular copy.

Pogo stick for the brain. From the first time I read that to this very minute, my brain's been puzzling over what the mental image of such a product should look like. And, more importantly, the purpose of such. I believe a pogo stick in the brain would do more harm than good. And who will be riding the pogo stick? Nerve impulses? A nerve impulse on a pogo stick traveling across a synapse, taunting axons and dendrites. That should make for some geeky fun. Then for the warfreak in you, make your mind into a weapon of mass discovery. Oh, this should give Al-Qaeda a run for their money. And, lastly, for the fast-food enthusiasts, supersize your mental fries. Whatever that means.

See the stark contrast between that ad copy and the second quote? The latter is a product of literary genius. Hmm...makes me think. You're not saying the author actually got a pogo stick for his brain? Oh, what a terrifying idea.

About a Sport, a Movie, and an Album

2005-01-21T11:38:00.000+08:00

Played badminton with the hubby for two hours this afternoon. Surprisingly, no muscle aches this time. My body's probably gotten used to the sport. Woot! Tomorrow will see another badminton session, with brother and cousin and girlfriend.

I just watched "Supersize Me" this evening. Man, Morgan Spurlock sure had the guts to undergo his health-jeopardizing experiment. And, thankfully, still had his guts intact afterwards. At least his docu was able to spur a much needed change in the American fast food system, and maybe in the school cafeteria system, too. Having seen the dangers of eating fast food and all (McDonald's, especially), I'm still not dissuaded from future Twister Fries and Caramel Sundae binges. Actually, nowadays, I'd rather have Jollibee's Strawberry Shake than any kind of sundae. Yummy! Now you see why I have to undergo such a strenuous exercise as badminton.

Feels good to be finally doing something aside from being cooped up in the house. I really feel a difference after working out a sweat. Even if it's only in my delusional mind that I feel healthier, it sure beats feeling weak and bored most of the time. I do have to strengthen my lungs again. Those years of smoking left me gasping for breath and tiring easily. Or probably there's something wrong with the way I breathe or take in oxygen while exercising. I notice this always happens to me while jogging or playing badminton: I get red in the face when exerting much effort. Lack of oxygen in the brain, perhaps? But when I feel that I'm going to pass out, I stop and rest for awhile. Or slow down my pace. That usually does the trick. Then I go outrun some imaginary tri-athlete or go slam that shuttlecock right smack in my opponet's face. Of course the latter is an exaggeration. I'm not that good. Yet. ;)

I'm listening to Duncan Sheik's Phantom Moon right now (album courtesy of bandmate Joon). It's not what I'd really call happy music. It's reminiscent of Elliot Smith. Some songs are just so heartbreaking they're bordering on suicide music. But it's perfect late at night. I have to hand it to Duncan Sheik: he has that kind of voice that just rends your heart to pieces. It breaks into your veins and consumes your whole body. Suddenly, you feel what he's feeling. It's more than empathy; it's some kind of assimilation that's happened. I guess that's the charm of his songs and his voice. Thank you, Joon! It's a much loved album. :)

Well, that's it for now. Run along.

Ode to a Tree

2005-01-19T18:48:00.000+08:00

If I were to be a child of nature, I'd choose to be a tree.

A flower dies an ugly death: it turns brown, then wrinkles up until there's no more smooth space left on its once silky body. In life it's fragile; it's spine, malleable; its voice, weak. Its kind of beauty is frail and passing, eventually reduced to a byte of memory in our heads after the grace wilts away with the beauty.

A tree, on the other hand, speaks of a wisdom man can never achieve by himself. Trees have heard sacred whispers floating in the wind and secrets sung by nightingales. They have stood proud for centuries, and in their silence, have cultivated the wisdom of the ages. Their wrinkled bark is in no way unsightly for it speaks of a resilient and steadfast rule in the kingdom of flora and fauna.

If I were a tree, I can give shade and shelter, ingest man's carbon dioxide, and provide him with twin molecules of oxygen necessary for his respiration. I can prevent raging waters and loose earth from ruining man's life and livelihood. I can spread my branches toward the sky and let the leaves, in their rustling, tell the secrets of nature for the benefit of those who seek answers to life's mysteries. I can bear witness to a love some would carve on my bark. I won't complain of sappiness for I, myself, am sappy. After all, it's in my genes. (Forgive my feeble attempt at humor; I see it's something trees aren't born with.) I can bear the brunt of a frustrated individual; I can take more punches than man could ever throw. I can be a shield against the temperamental wind. I can be a shoulder to lean on; I can carry that weight. I can absorb man's tears and even shed some of my own in resonance with his grief. I can be anything you want. I'll be everything you want.

I wish to have the enlightened soul of a Druid. Or the omniscience of a Wood Nymph. Or the obdurate arms of Treebeard's kin.

I wish I could be a tree.

Looks Like Morning in Your Eyes

2005-01-18T11:41:00.000+08:00

There is nothing like listening to Norah Jones on a cold, quiet night and seeing the soft yellow illumination of the night lamp caress the bed pillows. Kinda puts me in the mood for love. And there is the impulse to sigh--the good kind of sigh, mind you. It is the sigh of contentment of one who's been reminded of the beauty and evocative power of music. Suddenly there is a warm, fuzzy feeling to counter the cold with. I just love this feeling! It's a kind of high that portends good fortune. It's a sense of awareness that life is good. I know my description isn't capturing the essence of it; there is a substantial amount of soul lost in translation. Better savor this feeling before it's gone. It's fleeting as it's fragile. So, I'll stop blogging now and just sit here, engaged in a trance, pondering the secrets of the universe. This very moment I can honestly say,

I have already figured out how happiness works.

Stay Tuned

2005-01-17T17:15:00.000+08:00

Feels good to be playing music again after a one-month abstinence! Or was it more than a month already?

Last night, we had band practice. Finally, we were able to finish that new song that's been around so long it's technically old. I can't wait to play it live! I just hope my band mates will be practicing on their own time. It's a tricky song: for one, it's new; then there's the complicated riffs and drumming. We'll see how it goes at this month's LFS. ;p

Trophy Days

2005-01-15T05:46:00.000+08:00

Busy is good. There is less time to wallow in depression, engage in philosophical rants, or figure out the various levels of existentialism.

When I got home last night, my legs were aching from walking miles and miles yesterday. After doing some ocular in a factory in Las Piñas for a project I'm working on with dandelionfluff right now, we went to Makati to grab lunch. After heading our separate ways, I attended to some official business I had intended to do while in the area. Instead of taking the FX to and from destinations, I decided to take the skywalk and get some exercise. Last stop in Makati was Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf where I met with opts and had a lovely conversation. How quickly time flew! And I got a bunch of Elvis Costello CDs. Thank you, thank you! I absolutely, positively, enormously, love them! As if you didn't already know that. :p

Anyway, When I finally headed home, the MRT was jampacked. I suffered the whole ride being squished by hordes of people. It was like an ant colony! Usually people thin out at the Cubao stop. But last night was an anomaly. From the Ayala station to the Northern end, the passengers did not let up. I couldn't help breathing a sigh of relief, and fresh air, when the train finally made it to the last stop. I got off then walked to SM North Edsa. Had dinner with ultraman, bumped into Jason who was having a smoke outside Tower Records, walked back and forth SM Cyberzone, then finally, this time for real, headed home.

Thus, with all the walking around the whole day, my legs began to ache. And because I have a masochistic nature, I still pushed myself to play badminton this afternoon. It really feels good to be sweating and moving all my limbs. Haven't gotten any serious kind of exercise for months now! And there's nothing like the good feeling that comes with exercise, especially with the thought that I managed to kill some of those stubborn fat cells.

So, all in all, yesterday and today (though today has yet to end) were one of those good days when I felt I had a good grasp of life and its workings and I can't find anything to complain about, aching legs and jampacked MRT notwithstanding.

blather-dee, blather-da

2005-01-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

The cold bug hit me again. But only for the whole day yesterday. In most cases, my runny nose and puffed and teary eyes are caused by an allergic reaction. But now I know it also has to do with stress. If I'm not careful enough to take things easy, my immune system breaks down. I guess I also have a weak immune system, to begin with. :p Maybe the sleepless nights have taken their toll on my body.

The night before last, both me and my hubby couldn't sleep. It wasn't as bad for me because I don't have work. He, on the other hand, had to wake up at 3am to go work. He ended up not sleeping at all. Lack of sleep notwithstanding, it was a fun night. We spent it fooling around. Not the sexual kind of fooling around, but the silly kind. I told him I'd sing him a lullaby. I sang the Birthday Song. He did the same. Then we started doing second voice alternately. We were horrendously out of tune, but we didn't care. We must've irked the hell out of the nocturnal bugs and insects! So, in the middle of the night, we were laughing like crazy and singing the Birthday Song. No one's birthday was coming up. His was a month ago while mine is 5 months away. See the absurdity of it all? Sometimes I think it's this room that's making people crazy. :p

When the Birthday Song laugh trip was over, I told him, "Let's do the dial tone thingy in Adaptation." For those of you who have seen the movie, you know exactly what I mean. For those who haven't, here's a backgrounder: Meryl Streep was tripping out and she called up this guy (sorry, forgot his name, but I think he's the ~~Dad of the gay kid~~ gay Dad of the kid who had a crush on Thora Birch's character in American Beauty) and asked him if they could emulate the sound of a dial tone. Each of them hummed a particular note that, when done together, sounds like a dial tone. So that's what we did. We hummed together to form sound waves resembling a dial tone. It was actually kind of relaxing because when you hum a note, your temples vibrate in a soothing manner. Kinda like when you murmur a prolonged "OM."

I don't remember what else we did but we sure had a blast. Mababaw lang talaga kaligayahan namin. LOL! Just like when we came up with a "Name that Christmas Tune" game last Christmas. We didn't invite any participants because we were sure they won't agree with the rules of the game. See, we put a twist: when you hum a song, you have to change the tune. You sing the lyrics in your head but the tune is altogether different; you make it up off the bat. In this case, you have to enumerate all the Christmas songs you know before you hit the answer, unless, of course, you have ESP. I know it's a ridiculous game--so ridiculous it puts the word "ridiculous" to shame, as if "ridiculous" in itself isn't shameful enough. Uhm, did that make any sense? You get what I mean.

So, there. I don't even know what kind of entry this is. On second thought, I think it carries the theme: worthless, time-wasting stuff. There you go.

four truths and a lie

2005-01-09T01:41:00.000+08:00

I'm calling on all my friends (okay, strangers, too, so nobody feels left out) to post four truths and a lie on their respective blogs. I bet everyone will get a kick out of this. Let's see who's the most imaginative/creative in weaving a deceitful tale or whose truth is uncannily stranger than fiction. This will surely keep everybody guessing! Hahaha!

1. My first time sucked big time.

2. My date and I were nearly mobbed by an angry household who thought we were staking out their house when, in fact, we were just having a heavy make-out session inside the car which happened to be parked across their home.

3. I've never had sex in the closet.

4. A taxi driver shared with me some unsolicited details of his sex life.

5. I've never cheated on a significant other.

P.S. I'm sorry, but I'll never tell anyone which among the five is a lie. But if you will insist, I might relent--but then, expect your name to appear on my hit list.

gundam-it, i'm obsessed with chairs!

2005-01-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

I finished my first Gundam kit, Gundam Astray Blue Frame, this afternoon! I have yet to define the lines with a black marker, though. Nevertheless, I am happy with it. Too bad my camera didn't do justice to it. Darn it for not having macro settings. Darn the owner for not getting one with such settings. :p

I actually won the Gundam Astray Blue Frame at the Toyrepublic's Christmas Party raffle. I started working on it last night and gave up after two hours. I woke up early this morning to finish it, breaking only for lunch. The only drawback of working non-stop are the sore thumbs I have right now. I think I've overworked my thumbs and they're not making me forget it. My fingertips hurt as well; kinda like the pain you get when you've cut your nails a bit too short. Argh.

On to a completely different topic (but not different from that of two days ago). This is my favorite chair. Just like Mike (not my Mike), I adore Baguio/Northern-made furniture. Sadly, I can't use this as a computer chair since it's too small--or low--or both. Right now, its existence is purely decorative. On second thought, not entirely so, 'cause it also serves as a night table since I don't have one. Before I retire for the night, it becomes a rest haven for my glasses, cell phone, and book. I can't say I've utilized it for its original and main purpose since I normally sit in bed or use the computer-chair-that-needs-to-be-replaced when I'm in the bedroom. When friends come over, there's usually stuff in this chair, so they don't get to enjoy the marvelous sitting experience it has to offer. Okay, so I got a bit carried away there. Bottomline: the chair is nice and quaint and comfortable.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I miss going out on Saturday afternoons. Good thing I'll be meeting with dandelionfluff tomorrow, a perfect excuse to get out of the house and enjoy a leisurely Saturday. Coffee and conversation will be a perfect way to waste the day away.

happiness rests on a chair

2005-01-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

Good news! The dark clouds have lifted and I am now back to my happy self. Hmm...maybe happy is such a strong adjective. After all, I am less than usually happy. Maybe normal is more appropriate. Normal is safe becasue it can be anything. Okay, so I am back to my normal self. I was able to sleep relatively early last night; relatively early means 1:30am. Though before sleep came, I had the weirdest feeling: I felt I was going crazy. I was so disoriented and, even without looking in the mirror, I knew I had crazy eyes. You know how the eyes of crazy poeple look? Their eyes literally and figuratively bore through you. It's like they can see your deepest secrets but at the same time they aren't really seeing you, they're actually seeing past you. And when they're not looking at you, their eyes wander around. I could've sworn last night I had crazy eyes. I felt like my eyes had ADD, they kept looking around the room searching for nothing in particular. Geez, is this a journal of the insane?

Anyhow, I'm glad I've surpassed that craziness, if only for the time being. And, hopefully, my body clock has resumed normalcy and I can once again catch and enjoy the lovely morning sunshine. Have I mentioned that we still have birds where we live? It's pretty soothing to wake up to the sound of birds chirping outside the window. Amazingly, despite the fact that we live in a highly urbanized zone near EDSA, birds aren't extinct in our vicinity.

Moving on to domestic affairs, this afternoon was spent on a quest for the perfect chair for the computer table we bought recently. Personally, I don't like the sight of office swivel chairs inside the bedroom so I requested that we get a more stylish chair; one that would blend in the overall decor of our room and somehow speak of our combined personalities. Call it what you will, but I truly believe that something as trivial as a chair still merits a considerable amount of thought.

Unfortunately, we went home empty-handed. All the chairs we liked were out of stock. Only the display merchandise were left and they weren't selling them for a discount. I would consider buying something I really like even if it's the display item if and only if they would sell it at a discounted price. No way am I paying the full price for something that's been used already, even if it was for display purposes only. So, that being the case, the quest for the perfect chair was reluctantly abandoned. Maybe a trip to a different mall will be more fruitful. I guess that special chair will have to wait. But the cosmos better have the baddest chair in store for me.

the days of insomnia are back

2005-01-04T01:37:00.000+08:00

Maybe my depression's caused by my dysfunctional body clock. It can't tell the difference between day and night. I stay awake all night, sleep when the sun comes up, wake up in the middle of the day, then wonder what the hell just happened to the better part of the day.

I've been living like a zombie the past few days as I've been having trouble sleeping. The cogs in my head ceaselessly whir and squeak that they've been keeping me awake. Semi-lucid dreams scramble on top of each other that I can't remember a thing when I finally open my eyes and, with a sigh, surrender to the futility of sleep. I'm hoping tonight will be different. But something about how my senses are still keen and alert tells me that this is going to be yet another looong night.

a cold, cold night

2005-01-02T04:10:00.000+08:00

What did I do the first day of 2005? I slept in and I starved myself. Well, the second one isn't exactly true. I woke up around 1:30 in the afternoon and since I wasn't feeling hungry, I didn't eat at once. I waited until 3pm to do that. And that's because my hubby, who also slept in and had just woken up around that time, wanted to have lunch (as if you could still call a meal at 3pm lunch). I would have passed up on the meal entirely and waited 'til dinner had I the heart to let my hubby dine alone the first day of the new year. So, a very late lunch we had.

As if the start of the new year wasn't sucky enough, there's this weird thing going on. Just a few days ago, I have been raving about how I feel this is going to be a GREAT year. Now (actually, it started two days ago), I'm feeling kinda lost--like I'm missing or missing out on something that I can't quite define. I feel like I'm neither here nor there; as if time stopped and I'm caught between--to borrow something from a blog I chanced upon in the past--the tick and the tock. I have no idea what day of the week it is. I feel hung over from 2004. I know I've written this kind of thing a couple of months ago and have managed to transcend it. But, gawd, here it is again. That ugly feeling is creeping up on me once more. Is this what manic depression is? Or bipolar affective disorder? Have I not conquered this madness years ago when I vowed to become happy and not dwell on things too much? But here it is again, taunting me; luring me to the colorful web of chaos; prodding me to surrender to lunacy. Lunacy. Is this behavior lunar-influenced to merit such a name? Has this something to do with the inhabitants of the night sky getting on each other's nerves? Or is this purely a turmoil of the mind? These are times when I seriously feel I'm going crazy. Fuck this shit.

Okay, so to keep myself from going over the edge, I'll just start practicing writing 2005 for when I fill out forms and such that require the date. Ink erasures and smudges are ugly and so unprofessional-looking.

So, this is the year 2005.

The exact date is January 2, 2005.

It is supposed to be a good year, 2005.

2005 2005 2005 2005.

Don't you think it looks nice seeing 2005 in print? The numerical figure is somewhat symmetrical: the 2 and the 5 look like mirror images of each other and they look nice sandwiching the 00s. And now that I've written 2005 repetitively, I hope my brain has replaced 2004 in its memory and will command my hand or my speech to write or say 2005 when asked the current year. Sigh. Such useless and idle talk. I apologize for the nonsense. As I said, I am, yet again, adrift in limbo and I need this gibberish to keep me from thinking about how empty and lost I feel.

Fuck, any minute now I am going to cry. It's 3am and I am waxing despressive. I see Alex Ross's stocky Batman looking at me with condemning eyes from the screen wallpaper. He looks self-confident in a haughty kind of way and I hate it. I want to scream at him and tell him to stop looking at me that way. But if I do that, I'd definitely rouse the suspicion that I'm a loony. So I'm not going to do that. Instead, I will ask him in very nice way, "Mr. Wayne, uhm, Mr. Batman, can you please stop giving me that condescending look? It makes me uncomfortable. Thank you."

WTF?! I'm talking to Batman on a wallpaper on my computer screen. WTF. It's too quiet in this room and the lamp is casting off a ghostly glow. My feet are cold, but I'm too lazy to get a pair of socks from the drawer that's two feet away from me. It's getting colder as the night progresses. Morning will be even colder. Sleep is relief so I hope to get me some of that later. Actually, sooner is better. Anything to get my mind off this damned feeling. It's like a vortex and I'm spiraling downward. My stomach feels hollow and my heart is heavy. I have the queasy feeling associated with anxiety. Maybe TV will do me some good. Yes. I think that's the perfect thing to do. It's better to get lost in a sea of cable channels than a sea of nothingness.

promises, promises

2004-12-30T21:31:00.000+08:00

The New Year is almost upon us. I have made a few promises to myself--and I do hope I keep them. I know I can be real stubborn and that I am capable of not making good on promises, especially those that I make to myself, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Thankfully, "quit smoking" will not be on my list. I have been nicotine-free for a month now! Alright! :D

I won't be listing my new year's resolutions here. It's not long enough to be considered a list in the first place. I just want to focus on one thing next year. Make more money. So I guess I have to think of all the things I need to do to achieve that. Now that is what's going to be a pretty long list.

the outskirts of slumberland

2004-12-08T05:23:00.000+08:00

I have a bad cold that's keeping me awake. Argh.

I went to bed early (9pm) last night because I wasn't feeling well and I wanted to catch up on sleep. I've been up 'til the witching hour the past few days, checking mail, blogging, surfing, and reading. Now I see sleeping early wasn't a good idea after all. Yes I slept early, however, I also woke up early. How early? As in 3am early. To top it off, I woke up with a stuffed nose and some hunger pangs. I don't know which state it's better to wake up to: a hungry nose and a stuffed stomach or a stuffed nose and a hungry stomach. Okay, sleeplessness isn't really making me coherent or logical.

I kinda feel well-rested but I know I should be sleeping still. I've already watched some TV in hopes of tiring my eyes; I've tried closing my eyes, forcing sleep to come; I've tossed and turned then tossed and turned some more--still, the sandman wouldn't come. I didn't want to count sheep 'cause it seldom works for me. I think it only keeps me awake because I concentrate too much on reaching a certain number that is divisible by one hundred (i.e., 100, 200, 300). Geez, I didn't know I could be that OC even when on the verge of sleep. Dork.

My sore throat is getting worse and the cold isn't doing anything to make it better. This weather would have been perfect for a fitful slumber, alas, shut-eye is as elusive as a Blue Ghost Rider.* (Okay, I'm having problems with the asterisk there. Can somebody correct me if the placement is wrong? Do asterisks follow the same rule as end quotation marks, meaning they have to go after the period?)

First light's starting to break into morning. I'm pretty sure I'll be having an even harder time going to sleep once the sun's up and the weather gets warmer. Plus, there'll be all sorts of scuffling as people get ready for work or school. Then will come all sorts of motor sounds and the lively banter of "morning people," and the birds will launch into their impassioned morning choral routine.

I hate mornings. Especially when I've got a stuffed nose, a semi-sore throat, a lightheaded feeling from waking up too early, and the sentiments of a grouch.

*The Blue Ghost Rider action figure is a hard-to-find variant of the Black Ghost Rider released under the Marvel Legends Series 7.

invictus

2004-12-03T19:21:00.000+08:00

This post was supposed to appear in the comments section but I realized after typing it that it was way too long to be a comment. Besides, I would like to share this one with everybody. However, for those of you who have not yet seen "Requiem for a Dream" and are planning to do so, let me just caution you that the following is a semi-spoiler. Though it does not say what exactly happens to the characters in the movie, it does say how it ends (again, not specifically). Read on if you wish but don't say you weren't warned.

First, let me thank our DVD pimp, Joon, for lending us such great DVDs! I keep forgetting to give due credit to him. My apologies, soon-to-be trumpet-master-general. :)

Okay, so I've finished "Requiem" already. It's got to be the saddest and most depressing film I've ever watched. "Pi" (also from the same director, Darren Aronofsky) was disturbing; "Requiem" is so real it goes beyond disturbing to shocking and frightening. When you watch characters who receive no redemption in the end, you realize that's real life staring you right in the face. But the movie doesn't say we have no control over our lives. Just the opposite, in fact. The movie suggests that we choose our paths in life: we either dig our graves for ourselves or we rise above our sorry circumstances. I've never seen a movie that showed this theme in such a daring way. "Requiem" takes you on a downward spiral along with the movie's characters. There was no resolution, no salvation in the end. There were but a few brief spurts of happiness in the characters' lives that only made you feel sorry for them knowing that these were all they were going to have.

Then, again, we each weave our own stories. We have the choice (really, no matter what anyone says) and the power to make it good. We are, truly, the captains of our souls.

gasp!

2004-11-26T14:20:00.000+08:00

Finally, after two weeks of running here and there, doing this and that, I am able to come up for air and relish this momentary lull.

Thanks to all those who expressed their sympathies over the death of my beloved rabbit. I still miss her terribly and I still cry at odd times. Now, I am spending more time with Vanity, the surviving little ska rabbit. Oh, she's such a precocious one (or not)! That one just loves the jolt, or should I say volt, she gets from nibbling on electrical wires. We've already taken extra precaution and hidden all wires, cords, and what-have-you so now she's reduced to tripping on cardboard and shoes. :p

**********

Okay, I guess we've all had enough rabbit talk to last us a week so let me just tell you what happened during my blog absence: I found the cure to blog addiction! I'm sure everyone would be interested in that...or not. :p I hear SIMS 2 is a possible antidote. I wouldn't want to find out. God knows (and my hubby, too) how I spent sleepless nights in front of the computer building the house of my dreams and forcing couples together in SIMS 1. Hahaha! I remember those days. Gawd, I was a total SIMS addict! Haven't touched the stuff since I went cold turkey. I'm afraid to get mired in it again. :p

Seriously, I don't exactly remember what I did the past two weeks; well, the first week of the two weeks, to be more precise (uh, did you just understand that? I am so articulate!). The second week was devoted to cramming a business book summary for a certain website, with band practice, gigs, and social calls squeezed in between. I really can't recall what happened the week prior to that, which was the week after Cotton died.

**********

So, now I'm back. And now I finally have the time to upload those videoke photos I promised everyone. On second thought, we're having another guilt-ridden session tomorrow night. Maybe I'll just post more updated pictures then. :) Standby for that.

**********

We already have a complete set of Marvel Legends 7! Woohoo! :) Unfortuantely, we weren't able to get the Phasing Vision chase figure. Tough luck. Later I will be trading with a fellow toy collector. I'll be giving him Prince Adam (He-Man) for a Marvel Legends Daredevil. Previously he traded a Marvel Legends Hulk for my extra Doc Ock. How cool is that?! :D

**********

I missed The Incredibles! What a loser I am! Boohoo. But, I've got a bunch of borrowed DVDs lined up. Finally, I'll be able to watch Aronofsky's "Requiem for a Dream!" And, somebody promised to lend me Wong Kar Wai's "2046." :D Life is good! Did I mention I watched Elf yesterday and was practically ROFL? Will Ferell's got to be the craziest comedian next to Jim Carrey! :D

Aside from the movies lined up, I also have a new book I so look forward to reading: Abarat II. As soon as I finish Chabon's "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay," I'll be devouring Abarat like mad, I swear. Reading two books simultaneously has never been my thing. I really admire those who can do that, like Joelle. :) And, speaking of Joelle, now I remember another thing I did last week! I watched her ballet performance in a show called "Ang Bagong Bituin!" She was just astoundingly brilliant! What I'd give to be as graceful and as poised! Hahaha! It was very surreal, like a hazy dream. The next day I woke up wondering if I had really been to the CCP (Cultural Center of the Philippines) and experienced those magical two hours. I'd like to experience that again. :) Paging Joelle: inform me when you're having a show again, alright? :D

**********

Whew, I just realized this is a very looooong entry. I guess I missed blogging after all.

when dreams are made

2004-11-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

Go sleep the fitful slumber of a soul that's found its home,
Go greet the august morning with pink lips curled in a radiant smile,
Go frolic in the field of blossoming dandelions--
There in the land of youth and beauty eternal.

Go float in the breeze of a mild spring day,
Go catch a ride on the feathery clouds,
Go sail with the east wind to find your adventure--
There in the land of peace and happiness eternal.

Go laugh and sing with the birds and butterflies,
Go run and chase the rainbow's end,
Go snatch the stars when the moon isn't looking--
There in the land of freedom and love eternal.

Go, my beloved, wish dreams of interminable joy,
Then, knowing in my heart your happiness is sublime,
I shall weep no more.

Cotton (2002-2004)

animal hospital

2004-11-09T10:05:00.000+08:00

Two weeks ago it was Bailey that was sick. Now she's fully recovered, lively and playful than ever (and sometimes annoyingly so), with a mouth that stops at nothing. Almost everyday we mourn over a mangled plant, at times a couple of dead fish in the pond--it seems there's always something that she manages to pull out of somewhere and tear apart. Tsk, tsk. The sly, vicious little devil. ;p

Now, it's Cotton, our dear, adorable rabbit that's incapacitated. She's predominantly white, her ears a combination of brown and black fur as well as her eye mask (like a bandit); the same color runs down her spine. I think it all started as sore hutches which eventually graduated to a severe case of skin disease. Now she's debilitated (and I hope only temporarily) and we're helping her regain her strength. In a span of a week, my Mom and I have learned how to force feed a rabbit, make her take her vitamins and antibiotics, clean her wounds, change her bandages (much like attending to a battle-injured soldier), change her nappies, and give her all the TLC anybody could ever give a pet. She's so cute when she goes to sleep (do they close their eyes?): we would lay her down on her side and tuck her in, covering her up with a blanket so she won't get cold (as the nights have been) as some of her fur was sheared . It's a round-the-clock duty, but I'm not complaining. It was our fault that her condition got worse. We had, unfortunatley, neglected the rabbits when we lost our helpersand the dog got sick and I was out of town for a week. In our home, the animals outnumber the humans so it's quite a task keeping track of each and every one of them, not to mention that they have separate places in/around the house.

The cats enjoy the backyard, one Mad Maxx, however, lives inside the house for he's my Mom's spoiled little brat; the dog has the garage and the side of the house all to herself (including the pond that she has made into a recreational pool despite glaring looks and frustrated shouts from my Dad); and the rabbits and one scarred cat share the balcony with the birds and butterflies. We're a full house, I'd say. And those are just the animals, wait 'til I get started on the humans. Haha. But that would entail a lengthier entry so I'll put it off for next time.

So, in three weeks we've learned more about animals than we did our whole lives prior. Sadly, we had to learn the hard way. I just hope there will be no cause for greater regret.

I guess the most valuable lesson I've learned throughout this whole ordeal, ashamed as I am to admit I've realized it late in life, is that these pets are our responsibility. We got them, we took them under our wing when they could've done well for themselves. And by doing that, we've taken the responsibility of survival from their hands/paws and transferred it to ours. Their innocent lives depend on us and we made it so! So now we should be able to fulfill our end of the commitment. It's but the ethical thing to do. It's but humane. It's but what love should be.

amazing adventures...

2004-11-02T01:59:00.000+08:00

or lack of, that is. The week spent in Bicol was completely uneventful save for the trip to Camarines Sur to inspect some hospitals, health centers, and barangay health stations. The trip was an event, if anything, for the sole reason that I was able to go outside the bounds of Legazpi City and Albay. I think I spent the better part of the week malling, and I've squandered quite a good (or should I say bad?) sum in doing so. Now I know better. I should charge higher the next time around. Bwahahaha! Don't get me wrong, though. I performed my job as best as I could given the unclear objective of the travel. This absence of a clear purpose (not my fault, the one who hired me was clueless as well) had me wondering most of the time what the hell I was doing there, and it drove me to frustration when I was writing my field report and I didn't know what exactly to write about. Still, I did my job professionally and accomplished my deliverables conscientiously.

Now that I'm back, I have to read tons of email, blog entries, and features; update my blogs (I have two); catch up on my reading; write some articles; and, most importantly, find another racket. But for now, I would like to relish the sight of our bedroom, our bed, and my hubby sleeping soundly in it. How I missed home.

off to the land of the perfect cone

2004-10-24T03:50:00.000+08:00

In a few hours I will be boarding a plane for Bicol, the region that is home to the Mayon Volcano, a mountain that geologists and commonfolk alike love because of its symmetrical beauty.

Well, I would've written more about the region but I'm pressed for time; I still have to get ready. Just wanted to let everyone know that this blog will be inactive for a week, unless people tag me or post comments to entries, which you are all free to do so. :) So, that's that. Be good, everyone! :D

blog backlog

2004-10-19T17:26:00.000+08:00

I have been going out more often than usual the past week--which is a good thing. Except that I didn't get to write as much as I should have, or at least, as much as I would've wanted. Gigs, malling, and a party were last week's day-fillers (aside from the infinite house chores). So this week will be my rest and preparation period before I go to Bicol next week. I'll be gone for six days and will be missing two gigs! One of which is the last leg of Oktoberfest. Waaah! They're getting someone to sub for me. Or I think the drummer will be playing bass and so they're getting a session drummer. I see they have a penchant for making life complicated. :p Then again, maybe it's a sound decision; after all, Joon (the percussionist) was the original bassist of the band. Only when the original drummer (who happens to be his brother) quit did he take the sticks, leaving the role of bassist open. That's where I came in. Whew, I guess I just gave you a bit of our band's history.

As I have been running about last week, I didn't get the chance to post the videoke pics. See, I have to upload the images during off-peak hours, meaning past 12mn, so I get to do it for free; else, I will be wasting precious internet time if I do it during peak hours. Everybody knows it takes forever to upload these things! Which reminds me, I have to make good on my promise to send Joon, via email, the pictures of the sing-along night. This note serves as my reminder.

******

Went to a party last Saturday--Dante's surprise birthday party. A very interesting night. I got to bond with a long-time friend, opts. Funny how we never really talked much about personal stuff before then. It was nice having gotten to know him better. And now I know his dirty little secrets which I'll be selling for $5 apiece. Hehe.

The thing about surprises is that I'm never really good at it. I tend to over-anticipate the surprise that by the time we get to "Surprise!" my hands are all cold and my heart's beating fast because of the anxiety of waiting in the dark. There have been lots of instances where I try to surprise my hubby but end up startling myself. Especially when I hide somewhere and wait for him to pass by; the waiting is unbearable with the tension building each passing second. So when he finally appears, I'm the one who jerks by surprise. I guess I'm a nervous person. :p

******

I'm back to reading books again from weeks of comic books. Right now it's Anne Rice's Violin. The first few chapters were spent describing the heroine's quasi-necrophilia. Not really my cup of tea. I'd reather read about blood and gore than someone romancing the dead. But, having gone past those chapters, I'm beginning to enjoy the book; it's picking up pace. Though, it's too early for me to recommend it. I'll just give my rating once I've finished reading it.

I never got to finish Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco. I have to read his earlier books first. That one's a rather tedious read what with all the esoteric information supplied by the author, more than half of which is unfamiliar to me. So I decided to start with his less complex works and try to gather the guts to finish Foucault's Pendulum in the process.

oh, mandy...

2004-10-12T13:48:00.000+08:00

Went videoke tripping last friday with bandmates and friends. Oh, what musical extravaganza that conquered the night! We sang the night away (and our money too), adjourning around 4am. It was a relatively reasonable price to pay for barrels of beer and laughter, not to mention the company of fabulous friends. I guess most of us needed that night to give rest to serious preoccupations, albeit momentary.

If you want to get away with singing cheesy and cringe-effecting songs, go to a videoke bar. Moreover, there you'll discover the guilty pleasures your friends are into. *evil grin* I will be posting pics as soon as I get to upload them. But first, I have to figure out how.

i am quasi-evil

2004-10-09T01:42:00.000+08:00

According to a test I took,

I am 55% evil.

I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

don't rock my boat

2004-10-09T00:21:00.001+08:00

There was an earthquake again. I was checking my mail and browsing through sites when a spell of dizziness washed over me. It took me a moment to notice that my monitor was swaying (I thought it was my glasses that was making me dizzy). That's when I realized the fault line's at fault again.

Whew, that one lasted a bit longer than the intensity-4(?) earthquake a couple of weeks ago. I woke up my hubby and told him there's an earthquake. He caught the tail-end. My Mom woke up too, and we decided to rouse my Dad as well. You see, ours is a pretty old house; earthquakes cannot be taken lightly. Thankfully, the tremors didn't get any stronger and eventually stopped in 15 seconds, give or take. No aftershocks, either.

On a related note, the first thing I try to sense during these times are the animals' reactions. I also try to think back if they had any premonition of the quake at all. Science says that if there's going to be any kind of natural catastrophe, animals go into a frenzy, or, less dramatically, behave oddly. But, during both quakes, I didn't even hear the dogs bark, or the rabbits scuffle, or the cats chase an imaginary foe on the neighbor's rooftop. Our housecat* did scuttle up the stairs to us. But that was post-quake--the feline was probably "shaken" by the
earth-rumble--so it doesn't count as a premonitory action. Hmmm...I'm onto one of my sensless musings again, aren't I? And because I don't know where this thread is going, I'm just gonna end it right after the ensuing punctuation mark.

*Who, because of his accidental adoption (we had no intention of keeping him at first, so we didn't really give him a proper name) and the lack of creativity of the household, has been christened "Kuting" (transl: Kitty). He'll be carrying that name for the rest of his life, unfortunately. Hmmm. Come to think of it, maybe tomorrow I'll give him a more decent name. :)

coffee jitters

2004-10-05T11:51:00.000+08:00

That must've been some heckuva strong coffee I brewed. That's what I get for absentmindedly throwing sppoonfuls of coffee into the brewer.

A tidbit about me: I am caffeine-intolerant.

Can't type for long. Hands keep shhhhaking. Have a goood one...

a virus [b]log

2004-10-03T16:50:00.000+08:00

It's definitely been going around.

I was an unsuspecting audience when this virus hit me three nights ago. I was having a particularly good night watching the mind-blowing performances of the bands that played during the LFS production* held at Freedom Bar that night--the enjoyment heightened by the giddiness I felt after the kick-ass (hey, I'm not kidding!) set our band (Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man) managed to pull off (something that hasn't happened in a long time :p)--when suddenly I felt my throat go sore. Just like that; without any warning at all.

After the show, my hubby and I, along with some friends, went on a food binge. Something not out-of-the-ordinary for us. If it's not a post-gig drinking binge at Nakayama, it's a food-binge at either the said place or at a kabab resto. However, because I had started to feel really sick, we took our leave after finishing our kababs and keema and, sadly, before the crash course on gay lingo ended (dandelionfluff and her friend Jill were kind enough to give us some erudition; 'twas fun, like learning a foreign language!).

Upon getting home, I was thinking of blogging about the gig. But, with the my sore throat getting painful by the minute, I decided to just sleep it off. After all, it was already 4am. Little did I know that while I was slumbering, this scheming little sore throat invited an unwanted visitor. Come morning (uh, more like afternoon), I woke up with a sore throat AND a splitting headache. The tandem has been tag-teaming me ever since. Ugh. Though today seems better than the previous days. At least now I can move my head a bit freely without suffering sharp shooting pains. The sore throat is still there, and seems to have radiated to my neck muscles because now a stiff neck to boot. What's happening to me? And all these sans fever? Isn't it that fever is supposed to be the manifestation that your body's defense system is at work? Could it mean my immune system is not functioning properly? (Okay, the hypochondriac in me is getting loose. I don't really know shit about what I'm talking. :p) Or, it could be that this virus is of a hybrid strain. Whatever it is, I hope my immune system wins the battle. Meanwhile, I'll be stocking up my armory with Vitamin C. If there's one thing I like about being sick, it's binging on apples and oranges.

P.S.
By the time I finished writing this entry, I have already made three trips to the bathroom. I give you three guesses. I figure I've lost a couple of pounds already. Instant enema. Too much oranges and apples, you think? Hahaha!

*The bands that night included Imago, The Late Isabel, Pedicab, Matilda (for which I sessioned), itchyworms, and Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man.

conceptualization of a dream

2004-09-26T18:00:00.000+08:00

I am currently trying to think up a dream. Not the one that a person has when he or she sleeps, rather, that which preoccupies one's waking hours; the one that you spend a good part of your life pursuing.

I keep telling everyone that I don't know where I'm headed. Now I've figured that it's because I have no dream to follow. I have no set goals to be achieved within a certain timeframe. Everyday is a leisure-walk through mundane existence--with no destination in sight. That's a pretty accurate analogy of what's happening with me right now. I wake up each morning trying to define a goal, but always drawing a blank. Everyday is the same old story. And the same old story contains the same old elements such as bipolarity, confusion, and insecurity.

Bipolarity. I was born under the Gemini sign of the zodiac, popular for having the characteristic of twin personalities (what you might call schizo in the extreme). Thankfully, and I beg to argue with anyone who counters my statement, I am not that extreme. By bipolar, I pertain to the opposing camps that make my dream-hunt problematic, i.e., the creative half of me wants to pursue writing while the intellectual half wants a career in research and statistics. Argh, it has always been a battle between the artist and the intellectual. It's so frustrating.

Confusion. Stemming from my bipolarity. Ergo, the problem: which camp to side with, the creative or the intellectual?

Insecurity. I think I want to become a full-fledged scribe more than anything else. However (*sigh* the proverbial but), I feel that my writing skills aren't good enough. I'm afraid I'm Calliope's disowned child. (Wow, that took a lot of guts to admit. But, hell, this is an open journal. I gave everyone the liberty of reading my thoughts when I checked the "display" option on my blogger dashboard. And all of a sudden I realize I have become more serious and honest about what I write in this space. Interesting.)

So, tomorrow I hope to find a different plot to my story. Especially now that I'm aware of the factors affecting my lack of a dream.

Well, that's it for now. Losing lucidity; sleep beckons. Time for that other kind of dream.

awful taste in fashion

2004-09-26T09:13:00.000+08:00

Preface: I posted this without editing so it didn't read the way it was supposed to. I've corrected loose sentences and inserted new paragraphs for easier comprehension.

Two nights ago I found myself arguing with two online entities who were also members of a message board I call my second home on the web (this blog being the primary, of course). The reason for the heated debate, as you will later see, will no doubt irk you as much as it did me. It's a sad fact that some people obviously have a twisted perception of the world and its workings. However, instead of rehashing all that was said, I will just post the link to the forum. I don't want to relive the anger that I felt during that time. Nothing ever pissed me off as much as that one. I don't usually get overly emotional online nor involve myself in petty debates; I am just a passive observer when things get nasty. But the posts of these two particular people cannot be ignored. They are the bad cells responsible for the cancer of society.

Note: Be reminded that I am a toy collector, so as a backgrounder, the following shall be taken within the context of "corruption" in the toy world (i.e., hoarders and scalpers of hard-to-find figures, selling of information and acceptance of "reservation fees" by toys sales reps in malls, and such). The bad cells are kinajo* and Dark Child (the meaner of the two, actually).

A sample:

DarkChild said,
I know we all whine about how corrupt this industry is.. but come on, what industry in this country isn't in some way or another?? I'm surprised you guys havent realized this yet. Wake up guys! we live in d Philippines, where its fashionable to be corrupt. What about those poor little newbies? Well, as you know collecting is a hobby, which connotes leisure, which connotes money. Only those who have the money can actually enter this hobby. They'll adjust, they all do. Coz dear, to survive anywhere and everywhere, one HAS to adjust.

Kinajo* said,
I don't wanna tolerate [corruption] either! Ofcourse! But what can we do? should we ask for the management and tell them about it? now i don't wanna ruin jobs and lives just for a toy, no matter what reason it is. These people, of what i could extremely imagine, just try to make ends meet every single day. I know what their doing is wrong and it also pisses me off.

My God. Corruption is that prevalent and ingrained that you can't do anything about it so just swallow it like a bitter pill? J.H.C. How uneducated can you get? Also, wrong is wrong, no matter what angle you look at it. If sales reps engage in illegal sales practices, let them suffer the consequences of their actions. They barely get by? They know the risks their taking. Let's see how they will get by, if at all, when they lose their jobs. I don't mean to sound harsh. It's just that the end does not justify the means. There is no person so poor that he or she couldn't rise above his/her plight. It's just a matter of sheer determination. If one really wants to, he/she can make an honest living and still make ends meet.

To view the entire exchange, click on the link below. Start with DarkChild's post then move on to the next page to view my reply. You don't have to read everything, just scan for my posts (I am haiku). I've quoted lines from their messages for direct reference. What you will see is a very ignorant perception of the world by misguided youths such as those two. Sigh.

http://toyrepublic.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=672

conjectures of a philosophical nature

2004-09-18T14:42:00.000+08:00

Finally, after three days, my computer is back from Hades! The power supply blew up a couple of days ago so my alternate reality in cyberspace was temporarily inaccessible. I suffered mild withdrawal symptoms, but nothing that alcohol couldn't fix. Hehe.

In retrospect, having no computer was a welcome respite. At least I got myself re-acquainted with reading and malling. :p My better-half's been telling me that I needed to get out of the house for my sanity's sake, especially since I have been feeling off-balance. I admit, it is somewhat out-of-character for me to stay cooped up at home for a long period of time. I've always been the kind to grab every chance to go out and party 'til morning, or at least go to the mall (or anywhere for that matter) in the daytime. However, all that changed when I just plain turned cold turkey on gimmicks. Suddenly, the glitz and glamour of the nightlife had lost its appeal. I found myself relishing the comfort of my bed, a good book, a good movie, and home-cooked pasta. Domesticity slowly took over, and it was not a bad thing. :) I have settled down in more ways than one. But, though I appreciate domesticity's coziness, I admit it's not a state I see myself occupying throughout my lifetime. I still crave for things, specifically, those that I will have reason to complain about (i.e., work deadlines). It's weird how we long for the things that we know, once there, we will be agonizing over. I guess such is the paradoxical behavior of humans.

I meant for this entry to be a short one announcing my PC's return from the void. I didn't realize it would end on such a philosophical note. Haha. Just goes to show that anything is possible. If a paragraph can take such a turn, what more life?

of stars and superstahs

2004-09-08T09:30:00.000+08:00

Currently playing: U2's All That You Can't Leave Behind album. I absolutely adore this album! I swear, "It's A Beautiful Day" has got to be among the all-time Top Five Best Opening Tracks list (well, on mine at least). It gives you the right boost, especially when you're feeling down and out. And on days when you feel like you're on top of the world, that song just rockets you off to the moon. It's that feel-good! :D Just don't ask me about the other four on my Top Five, I haven't gotten to thinking about them yet. :p

******

In relation to my previous entry, I found out that most people have been out-of-sorts lately. There is only one explanation for that if it seems to be global (even my twinster in the States is undergoing trying times). And that explanation would probably lie in the heavens. Literally. There must be some kind of planetary movement influencing the emotional tide of people. I am no astronomer, astrologist, nor cosmologist so I can't tell you much about the alignment of planets, or lack thereof. But I strongly feel that this ebb and flow is attributable to celestial activities. Hmmm...a passing comet perhaps? Traces of radiation from a distant supernova imploding into a black hole? Whatever it is, it sure is causing personal restlessness and disquietude among many.

******

"Superstah!" Hehe.

I've mentioned helping out my friend with her thesis. I agreed to be her talent, the decision of which, upto now, is still puzzling me. :p Anyhoo, we went to Ortigas to shoot some stuff. It's rather unnerving to act in front of strangers when they do not know you're acting. I sensed that they were sort of freaked out by my presence. And it's not a nice feeling, mind you. I saw people whispering, staring, or just plain weirded out. Walking uneasily in the busy streets of Ortigas, stooped and with my hair covering my face, people probably thought I was some crazed person about to jump off one of their gray, unfeeling buildings. If there's one thing I've learned about this thesis shoot, it's that people sure do have the tendency to judge harshly.

The highlight of the day was the talk I had with my friend and the videoke that came afterwards. Such fun! :D For the past week I seem to have bonded with her even more. As well as with another friend, opts. I think this period of storm and stress has made kindred spirits of us three.

stuck in a rut

2004-09-04T08:00:00.000+08:00

It's 4pm of yet another day. I am out of sorts (still). I was supposed to go out of the house for my friend's thesis shoot. But since the rain has again proved elusive, the shoot was cancelled and postponed for another day. So, we're back to waiting for the rain, which is just what we have been doing the past two days. Rain, rain, fucking come our way! My friend needs to finish her thesis to graduate this sem! Sigh. I wish sometimes Mother Nature will heed such pleas. Why should you always get the opposite?! If you don't want rain, you get the heaviest downpour; if you want rain, you get the sunniest skies. We are mere puppets of the omnipotent forces in the universe! Is this some kind of sick joke?

******

I miss my twinster. And there is no question that her boyfriend misses her twice as much. We used to tell each other everything! But now, being oceans and time zones apart, we don't talk as much as we used to. Factor in her hectic sched, talk/email is reduced to a trickle. Bummer.

i'm sensing senselessnes

2004-09-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last wrote in this blog. Okay, to update the curious cats: we get to keep the doggy. :D Bailey is a full-fleged member of the family now! :D Yes, my mom finally gave in to Bailey's sweetness. She's such a pup, really! :D Anyway, over the weekend, I got her a collar-and-leash set so I can take her out and walk her around the neighborhood. I also bought her some dog soap, biscuits (for when I train her, assuming that I know how), and dog food. I actually felt like I was shopping for my own kid! Well, she is that in a way. :)

On to other matters...I don't know why but these past few days I feel out of touch. And I can't fucking lay my finger on what I've been missing out on. Lately, I feel like I'm doing things mechanically though I've no set routine that I follow everyday. Doesn't make sense, huh? Well, a lot of things have not been making any sense to me the past week. I've been drinking 6 nights in a row, now. No cause for alarm, I am not an alcoholic (Stage 1: Denial). It's just that I miss the buzz I get from alcohol. After a couple of beers or glasses of punch, I seem to not feel anything. Sometimes I take solace in numbness. Funny how alcohol can render you without feeling, yet, at the same time, bring out the fucking sentimental schmuck you try so hard to supress. Haha. That's not supposed to be funny. Haha. Yes, it's supposed to be sarcastic.

******

I took a job exam today. Made me feel fucking stupid. I had completely forgotten my algebra and calculus. The exam consisted of three parts: problem solving, reading and comprehension, and graph interpretation. I was never really good at problem solving. Hell, look at my personal life! Don't get me wrong, okay? My marriage is all well and I'm very happy with my hubby. It's me I'm talking about. 'KWIM? It's "me," just ME. I'm fucking 28 years old and I still don't fucking know where the hell I'm headed. But that is an entirely different story worthy of its own entry. Right now I'm talking about the exam this afternoon. So, okay. One question goes something like this...

There's a tank filled with liquid. There are two valves: a top one and a bottom one. They're both open; the one on top fills the tank with water while the one on the bottom drains it. Given the rate of water coming in and coming out, the solver is asked to find out how long it takes to drain the tank.

Jesus, why continue pouring water in it in the first place if you're just gonna drain it, anyway?! It's a rat race out there. If you're going to empty the tank, then stop adding water so the job gets done faster and easier! This dog-eat-dog world waits for no one!

Sigh. I don't know what I'm cut out to do. I am no problem solver; that I've realized way before I took the exam. All the more afterwards! Another sigh.

Life...how do you decipher it?

a furry new friend

2004-08-25T15:38:00.000+08:00

My friend gave me a 4-month old German Shepherd today. She's a complete darling! The dog, I mean. Though I guess I would have to say that about my friend as well for giving me the dog. Hahaha! :D I'm sure he's reading this right now. :P Thank you for Bailey! :) She's absolutely adorable! Got to play with her this evening and she's such a sweet pup!

But, as with all nice things, there has to be a catch. In Bailey's case, my Mom isn't too sold on her. For one, she's a big puppy. We've never had a pure-bred dog before so she isn't used to giant-pawed furry animals. And Bailey's arf throws more punch than a mean drummer. So I guess my Mom's kind of intimadated by it. Still, my brother and I are trying to convince our Mom to keep the dog. Right now she's on trial adoption. If Bailey wins my Mom over in the next couple of days, we get to keep the dog. If not... :( So, I guess tomorrow will find a crash course on manners and good grooming. I just hope that Bailey is a fast learner. :D

all fired up

2004-08-24T07:20:00.000+08:00

It was around 3pm yesterday when I heard screaming outside the house. At first I thought it was the crazy neighbors again, trying to kill each other. The screaming continued and I noticed that I was hearing predominantly kids' voices. So, I thought it was the neighborhood kids running in the rain, playing tag or something. I was busy checking my email so I didn't bother looking out the window to check what the kids were up to. It wasn't until our maid came running up the stairs screaming, "Nasusunog yung kapitbahay!" that I finally knew what was really going on.

Shock...

Then more shock. I willed myself to run out to the terrace and see which house was on fire. The big smoke three houses away couldn't have stated it more obviously. The firetrucks started arriving. First there were two small ones, which weren't very reassuring at all. But, last count totalled 15. Wow. I thank the volunteer and local government fire fighters for responding in droves.

You know, it's times like these that will show you where your priorities lie. What would be the first thing you'll save from the house if you were to evacuate? Though this was the second scare we've had (the first time was new year's eve), I can't say that I've gotten used to it or that I've earned the composure or calm state of mind needed in such crisis situations. My head was in a daze! I didn't know what to save first. It's funny how I still managed to disconnect the modem and shut down the computer like I had all the time in the world. Then I said to myself, "Are you crazy?! There's a fire three houses away and you're worried about your fuckin' hard disk?!" It takes forever to shut down XP so, at that point, I decided to just switch the damn AVR off. I then looked around the room. "What to get first, what to get first?" I kept repeating in my head. I saw 500 bucks lying in one of the shelves. I snatched it and put it in my pocket. I was thinking, worse comes to worst, it can get me a couple of shirts. Duh. What logical reasoning.

Then shoes. I figured I needed to put on shoes. If I were to be running around, I needed reliable footwear. I was looking for my trusty old cross-trainers. Since we did some spring cleaning last week, things got rearranged. Realizing that I was wasting valuable time looking, I ended up wearing my Vans Compel Tones. For a second I was contemplating on wearing my skate-highs but that would've taken more time to wear and at that moment, time was of the essence. I looked at all the stuff we have in the room. It was overwhelming thinking of what to get first. Then I spotted the guitars. They would have to come with me. I picked up my bass and my hubby's guitar and ran downstairs to the garage. I laid them there. I rushed back to the room and my eyes landed on the CPU. Files, I thought. Important files are in the computer. I unplugged everything and carried the CPU to the garage. On my third trip, I was carrying a backpack with legal documents, bank records, wallets, cell phone, jewelry box, and cameras. I passed by the DVD player on my way out of the room and I thought, "Hmm, I can still carry some, what the heck." The player cost us a couple of thousand so might as well save it. It's not cumbersome, anyway. So I picked up the player. By the fourth trip I was carrying three bags full of CDs. I didn't bother clearing out the CD rack completely. I left the bottom shelves untouched. And it was only later that I realized what I left out was my friggin' Elvis Costello collection! Good thing the worst didn't happen! Argh, stupid me! :P Then I suddenly remembered our wedding pictures! My mind was a blank. I was going, "Where did I put those?" CDs! I suddenly remembered we have digital copies on CD. I got all the CDs near the computer and stuffed it inside one of the bags I was carrying. I thought the bags were going to give. They were stuffed to bursting with CDs!

And in between those trips, we carried our pet rabbits (Vanity and Cotton), adopted kittens, and housecat out to the garage as well. It was amazing how they were all very cooperative (i.e., no squirming, scratching, biting, and whatnot) when we carried them to their cage; as if they sensed that something was amiss. Maybe they, too, were scared.

So, we were on standby in the garage, ready to flee with our most prized possessions should the fire get out of hand. Luckily, we were spared. The fire was contained, and in less than an hour, was completely out. Thank God there were no casualties. That was the most important thing. Though I'm pretty sure that until now some people are still cursing fate and questioning their god why this had to happen. Like they say, "Manakawan ka na ng sampung beses, huwag ka lang masunugan."

Relief came with exhaustion. The adrenalin rush started to wear off and I suddenly felt very tired. Trying not panic must've have sucked my energy dry. We looked at all the stuff lying in the garage. Just the thought of hauling them back was exhausting. And with the adrenalin levels normalized, everything was twice as heavy. Haha.

Now, what did this crisis say about my priorities? Let me summarize the things I "saved" in chronological order:

1. Money (and that's just 'cause I happened to see it lying around)
2. Shoes
3. Guitars
4. CPU
5. Legal docs, bank book, wallets, cell phone, jewelry, cameras
6. CDs
7. CDs
8. And more CDs
9. Wedding photos

What I decided to leave behind (and was oh-so-stupid of me to have
done so):

1. My Elvis Costello CD Collection
2. 20K worth of mint-on-card toys
3. Our book and comic collection (the first fire scare they were the first we stuffed in bags)
4. Clothes (I didn't get any article of clothing, whatsoever. Not even underwear. I figured the P500 I snatched was going to cover a few pieces of clothing. Hilarious!)

So, what do my priorities say about me? I don't even want to think about it. I told my hubby that we should make a list of the things, prioritized according to importance, we should take with us in case of fire. That would definitely save us time and make evacuation organized and orderly. If we can't take everything with us, then at least we're ensured that we're leaving with the most important things.

rainy days and fridays

2004-08-14T06:31:00.001+08:00

It's raining on a Friday the 13th. What an ominous combination. Though I have yet to see if it is indeed a portent of bad things to come as the day isn't even halfway through. At the moment, however, there is a wisp of sadness in the air...a forlorn sentiment pouring from the sky and being scattered by the wind. It's times like these that get me really down and maudlin. Rainy Fridays isn't exactly the perfect week-ender for me.

this poker game called life

2004-08-13T17:30:00.000+08:00

Just when you think life is all peachy, something comes up that suddenly makes you realize that your peach is rotten to the core and infested with maggots. Reality check, as they say. And reality bites. It sinks its teeth real hard at times that it permanently leaves a mark. What happened two days ago is proof of that. I won't go into the ugly details as it should be kept in utmost confidentiality. But I'll say this much (and many have said as much as well):

That which can't kill you can only make you stronger.

You know, I am lucky that I have been given the strength to deal with the blows that have come these past couple of months and the resilience to go on with life. I realized long ago that you can't choose the cards you're dealt with so might as well play your hand as strategically as you can. Take note, it is not easy to bluff fate. Sometimes she keeps an extra card up her sleeve; she can be very tricky. You never know what surprises she might have in store for you so be prepared. Also, you have to be sure about the decisions you make because you have to stick by them. One wrong move can cost you everything that you hold dear. That's why I'm hoping against hope that everyone involved in this ill circumstance is playing his/her cards right.

I can say I've encountered so much of life in my 28 years of existence. I've chalked a lot of things up to experience that my blackboard is nearly full. Seems like I need to start with a clean slate very soon. If the compassionate forces in the universe are listening, I hope they grant my humble wish. I am wishing that on behalf of a couple of other people, too. I can only do so much! I can only give so much...and I can only take so much. And all things wear thin. Even strength.

Sigh. Just when I thought life was all peachy...

HTML (How To Mimic Language)

2004-08-11T15:31:00.000+08:00

Alright! I finally added some stuff on the side bar. I guess I'm not such a dimwit after all. :D

I've not familiarized myself with HTML coding (okay, I admit, I'm sedentary) and this is the first time I've tried to do something out of it (at least now I get to take the previous remark back). But since I don't have a book nor some printouts from the web, I decided to use the "Create Post" window of this blog. Specifically, the Edit HTML box. How dependable it turned out to be! Suffice to say, I cheated. :p C'mon, cut me some slack; HTML is all Greek to me. So, what I did was copy the codes and post them on my template. It was pretty much a trial and error thing. I really had to start from scratch and I was afraid that if I accidentally deleted or added something on the template, my blog will look like garbld

Mssge

p o s t e d o n a m a r g i n l e s s p a g e .

Well, so far so good. And I am rather pleased with myself. :D

*haiku gives herself a pat on the back

Now, maybe that netizenship isn't far from my reach after all. Next up, my very own website. There's always the handy (open for debate) Microsoft Frontpage for that. Cheater.

shuttlecocks, sheep, and sleep

2004-08-08T14:30:00.000+08:00

I have just woken up from a two-hour nap.

Having had only five hours of sleep, I surprised myself when I still managed to spend two hours this morning playing badminton with my bro and my cousin and his girlfriend. What a workout it was! Actually broke some good sweat which is real good. Haven't had any kind of exercise for weeks now. I used to do some crunches and jumping jacks in the afternoons, but I became too busy doing nothing that my daily exercise soon waned. After badminton, we went home to have lunch.

Then we played the ever-so-entertaining Star Wars Monopoly (this time my Jedi concentration didn't work so well, I lost) all the while snacking on munchkins and chips. I guess our metabolism was racing from all the running and smashing we did on the court. After that, I cooked tuna pasta. We ate around 6ish, afterwhich I soon conked out. I was so spent I think I fell asleep while my hubby was giving me a strip tease. LOL!

It was my first time to play badminton in a looooong time. Maybe in some 10 odd years! I never realized I love the game. It gets all your muscles worked up (not to mention your vocal cords when you passionately scream "MINE!") and you break out buckets of sweat you feel like you already lost a couple of pounds afterwards. I hope our plans of a rematch will push through next weekend. It's just what I need to burn off excess calories, and, hopefully, fats as well. :P

My muscles have started to ache. I'm sure as hell I'll be walking funny tomorrow. Especially when going down the stairs. And I have a strong feeling my right arm will stay glued to my side the whole day. So, if I bump into you, no hard feelings if I don't wave hi. It's better I don't attempt to do it than have my arm fall like lead halfway up and make me look like a complete dork.

******

I would've loved it if I could've slept 'til morning. However, I had to get up because I still had not brushed my teeth yet. Brushing before bedtime is one of the rituals of hygiene I never fail to practice. Even when I'm dead drunk (especially when I'm dead drunk) and I can barely aim the toothpaste on my toothbrush (the easiest thing to do would be to just smear toothpaste all over your teeth and gums and then start brushing).

Anyways, back to the topic at hand...I got back into bed, but I could not go back to sleep. I just kept tossing and turning, (displacing the bedsheets in the process) and computing how much money I would need to buy myself a car, a house, and all the toys my heart desires (my being jobless notwithstanding). IMHO, counting sheep is overrated. I remember one time I counted to about a thousand sheep. In the end, I couldn't sleep with all the "Baa-ing" in my head. Also, adding to the mental labor, I had to build them a corral so I wouldn't mess up my count with all the sheep running around. I had wanted to separate the males from the females, but I knew if I started that, I was pretty sure I would never have finished until daybreak. Now, with those sheep concerns, how could one sleep?

Anyways, again, as I was saying (geez, I digress too much), I couldn't recapture sleep because my senses probably got stimulated by the mint toothpaste. Or, in the short time that I made the trip to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, my body returned to its normal rhythm. When I checked the time and saw it was only 10pm, my mind probably then dictated to my body that it was too early to sleep. Now I'm afraid, having rested and all, I will continue to be awake, scouring the cyber wasteland for lost words until shut-eye automatically comes at 4am. Sigh. Bad habits are indeed hard to break.

to sleep, perchance to dream

2004-08-03T17:49:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to write about something today. Alas, sleep calls. I've spent my time posting inane observations in various toy forums. I hope I remember tomorrow, er...later, rather, what it was I was supposed to tell you about. That is, if I can somehow squeeze it in between doing nothing and nothing. Sigh. The tiresome life of boredom. You know what they say about idle hands...Geez, wipe that dirty look off your face! ;p Yes, you. I know who's possibly having a green-minded moment right now. :p

Anyway, I shall be succumbing to the allure of dreamland. Good night, cruel world!

"aloha, care for some math?"

2004-07-30T02:57:00.000+08:00

What would you say if someone greeted you that way? I visited my in-laws two days ago. My niece-in-law, Nica, was there, and as soon as she saw me, she said, "Tita Donna, ilan 'to?" holding up three fingers on her right hand (the forefinger, middle-finger, and ring finger) and three more fingers on her right hand (the thumb, forefinger, and middle-finger). Of course, you'd think she was holding up the number 33. But, no, three unsuccessful guesses later, it turned out it was the number 37. And she was doing some kind of finger math called Aloha. Her book is called "ALOHA Mental Arithmetic". She's in Grade 3.

It is no wonder then that kids today are short of being mutants. I swear, the stuff they teach kids in school these days! I've never even heard of that kind of arithmetic! I know about finger math but my knowledge is limited to mulitiplication (and only single digits multiplied by 7, 8, or 9, at that). So, I asked her to teach me the trick. She said all I needed to know was how to count with my fingers, er...somewhat differently. It was rather confusing at first because it went against the counting logic I've been accustomed to since pre-school. But, I got used to it after a few run-throughs. And you won't believe how easy it is to add and subtract two-digit numbers with the Aloha method! Definitely saves not only time, but paper and pencil as well. Oh, count the eraser in, too.

We then proceeded to tackle about five pages worth of exercises in her textbook--my threshold I would suspect, as after that I was already complaining of a headache (my feeble brain's attempt at genius left me exhausted). Yet, Nica still had the mental stamina to keep going (though I think her enthusiasm was already bordering on obsession ;p). What an amazing kid! :D

Maybe next visit there will again be something new to learn. Meantime, if you'll excuse me, I have another skill to add to my resume.

i heart toys

2004-07-26T11:55:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Galleria after accompanying my hubby to his stripping gig. Oh, yes, we are quite a tandem! You can say we've had much practice. (Insert naughty look here.) Actually, I tagged along because I had a another agenda in mind.

I bought a Doc Ock (Tentacle Attack) action figure a couple of days ago, but I carefully wrapped and sealed it in plastic then stored it in our toy bin. That one is not for playing with. It is just meant to be looked at and appreciated. I put him beside a similarly plastic-mummified Spider-Man with 46 points of articulation, which, can I just say, is simply the best! :D We have another super-poseable Spidey, this one we freed from the blister pack...which brings me to my other agenda for tagging along to Galleria: I wanted to get another Doc Ock figure that I will take out of the packaging so he can be Spidey's playmate... or nemesis, whichever he prefers. I think he's bored out of his wits. Saw him vandalizing our Buddha bust last week. I knew then I had to take action 'cause that could mean bad karma.

However, now this is the part that sucks big time, when I got to the toys section, there weren't any Doc Ocks left! Waaah! The last two have just been purchased before I arrived. Woe is me. :( I was hoping I'd find one there. Ended up just buying Marvel Legends V Silver Surfer with Howard the Duck (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Donald, by the way) for my hubby's sadistic hobby. He will be mangling him, disjointing, stripping (the paint, dummy, besides, SS is already nude), and what-other-torture-have-you, when he eventually uses him as base for a custom figure. Poor surfer dude. He just had to shoot for the moon (well, literally). He should've just stuck it out in the beaches of California.

Okay, that's enough toy-talk for today. I have to cut this short, anyway. Our band is playing at some hole-in-the-wall tonight. We didn't practice, but it's okay. We blindly believe that no practice makes good gigs. Still, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we don't suck. Before I leave, though, I've got a haiku for you.

Rained on my parade,
Drenched the band and majorettes,
Sadness overflowed.

escape from jail free

2004-07-25T06:36:00.000+08:00

Brrr...it's a cold morning. Somehow it feels colder when you haven't got enough sleep, or in my case, if you haven't gotten any sleep at all. First light's come and gone and I didn't even notice it. I spent the evening (and most of early morning) playing Star Wars Monopoly with my bro and cuz. I won two rounds of four! I got Starports (hotels) on Death Star and Colonies (houses) on Yavin Four. Hah! Never in my wildest dream did I ever think dorky R2D2 (my token) would topple Chewbacca (my bro's token) and dethrone Darth Vader (my cousin's)! Even upscale Coruscant (the place equivalent to Boardwalk) was no match for my middle-class apartments. Boy, did I clean them dry! Bwahahaha! If only all the money I had can cure my 3+1=5-syndrome. See, every time I throw a 3 and a 1, I keep moving my token 5 spaces! I don't know why. I seem to be having double vision with the 1. Or maybe it's some sort of compulsive behavior. Sigh. Further proof of my ineptitude, I guess. As if you need more.

Okay, enough of Star Wars and that stupid Monopoly game. People might think I'm a geek or something. I'm not. I just happened to buy three different Star Wars Monopoly sets on eBay: Star Wars Monopoloy Limited Collectors Edition (in replacement of that which was lent to me but has been guiltily over-played to pieces by my family), Classic Trilogy Edition, and Episode 1 3-D Edition. Freakoid.

******

I was supposed to post that at 6:20 this morning. However, my hubby walked in on me when he got home from work. It was like I was caught shimmying with the neighbor! I felt so guilty, and you should've seen the look on his face! I promised him before he left for work (he keeps weird hours, he's a stripper--just kidding! :D) that I would not stay up late as I have been sleeping at 4 or 5am almost daily now, and I have to re-acquire normal sleeping habits 'cause I'll be back in the workforce soon (hopefully, 'cause my lazy ass is getting fat). He looked real angry and disappointed. As with most promises I've made, I've broken yet another one. You have to make me promise three times before I follow through on it. Sometimes, even ten. Anyway, I got a good spanking. It wasn't kinky, though. Would've been a lot more fun if it was.

as a matter of fact

2004-07-24T07:13:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered what happens to deleted text? Are words that appear on your screen considered matter? They do occupy space. But, do they have weight? If there is some way that you can gather all the letters on your screen, can you actually put them on a scale and weigh them? I don't think those words tranform into a state of gas. Or liquid. I am even hesitatant to call them solid, to begin with. I sure as hell cannot touch them. Maybe the cursor can elucidate. After all, it is the only thing that comes in direct contact with the stuff on the screen.

You must be saying, "Oh no, there she goes again with here senseless dissection of mundane matters." Hold it, remember the greatness that lies within? I may be onto something here. You'll see how this will all tie in with Einstein's Theory of Relativity and quantum space. Prepare, for the earth might tremble any minute now!

Okay, back to earth and my pseudo-intellectual musings. You're probably wondering what brought all this about. Well, I was writing on this blog and due to my brain's incapacity, I was having a hard time stringing words together and I kept fumbling with stupid typos that I had to delete every other three words I type. Then it crossed my mind. When you write something in pencil and you decide to erase it you see the lead come off with the eraser. It's still there, though it's transformed in shape. On the other hand, where do deleted stuff on the net go and what form do they take once they've been erased? Do they become metaphysical souls stuck in some sort of cyber limbo? Is there a hell for bad words? That would be the religious point of view, I guess.

Sigh. I think this may be too much for my brain. This monologue can spin off to any direction and I don't think I'm prepared to tackle existentialism in various levels. I better stop now before I cross that fine line into insanity.

the awkward beginning

2004-07-23T16:45:00.000+08:00

I have always wanted to start a blog. However, given the procrastinator that I am, the idea never pushed through. Now, having found the perfect reason, I am ready to venture into yet another relative unknown (the first one was marriage). With that, let me tell you more about myself--

What? Oh, you want to know more about what finally prodded my lazy ass to start this blog? Okay, if you must insist. This is more interesting anyway than the lies I was gonna tell you about myself. Here goes...

I have a couple of friends or couple-friends since they're in a relationship, rikrik and tintin (no, they're not imaginary nor are they pets however silly their names may be), who were asking for suggestions for a band name (whether the band is fictitious or not, I have no idea). As I had a couple of brilliant suggestions my dim-witted brain nearly died of thinking up, I created this blog. Blogspot said I had to be a member (and lose my privacy as well) to become privy to and interfere in others' secret lives--a fair enough deal, I guess. I don't know if there was any way I could've circumvented the whole thing and just posted without having had to create an account. As I said, I'm a dim-wit. I'm as knowledgeable about blogging as I am about cold fusion. You see, my netizenship is still pending; I haven't yet acquired the required number of surfing and blogging hours to become a netizen. Oh, and I have yet to build a page I can call home.

Anyway, now that it's here, I might as well put it to good use, such as contributing more junk to the cyber wasteland (after all, there are about a gazillion permutations my keyboard can dish out). Or, spying on other people's business, writing pointless comments on their pages, or maybe, just maybe, coming up with something that will change the world. Now, that's an idea. So, in the future when you feel the world shake on its axis, don't be alarmed. It's just me writing something earth-moving that will change your lives and shift your perspectives. And you can then check it all out here--right on this blog where dreams are made.

P.S. I should probably get a tutorial first. I might end up deleting this whole thing accidentally. Then the whole sorry world will never know the greatness that lies within this home of dreams.